I started my journal and devotions for the New Year 2011. Joe bought me a very nice Life Applications Study Bible and a Lloyd John Ogilvie Daily Devotional. I was gearing up for this. I was a little uncomfortable with the nice leather Bible case with handles that looked like a purse. So, I asked Joe to return that to Family Christian Book Store. I was still a little uncomfortable with carrying a Bible to church. I had a little ways to go yet. I wasn't always cool with having KNWS on either. It depended on things.
I journal at work as I read the Bible and do the devotion. I do this before many people arrive. I do actually take a lunch break these days since disciplining myself to this new habit. It has certainly been a healthy choice for me.
I unfortunately shredded four months of wonderful journals I did at my desk at work. I would do my routine, write out my praise and petitions and also just write and see what happened. Then, I would fold the paper and staple it with the writing on the inside. And put it in the confidential shred bin. I now have no evidence of the miracles that were happening from January to April. But, that's ok.
I began to journal in a nice notebook and keep it beginning on April 4, 2011. (I love to look through these journals!). Nothing exceptional happened until April 14, 2011. That day I began to highlight in blue any revelations or significant events. That was my first day to highlight in blue. Denise's dad passed away unexpectedly. In an earlier blog, I spell out that day and the significance it had in my faith journey.
And then, May 3rd I met with a old girlfriend for lunch. And that certainly was significant because we cried at the OP. We both were so moved by our faith and we connected in that way. We found each other to confide and trust in. We had never opened up to each other about our faith all of these years. We both were on fire for Christ at the same time in our lives.
Not a lot of blue highlighting until May 19. One of my sisters hugs me for the first time, and apologizes. Then, she texts on May 20 "Thanks for the push" and "I love you". The push was for her to try to resolve some childhood pain. She was going to do some work on finding peace.
And then things get crazy. From June 6 on, there is blue highlighting all over the place. Two other women and I connect in depth on the same date and discuss our faith, all somewhat random in how we entwined on this date. June 7: I note that "The negative self talk is disappearing". (Entire life of negative self talk in my head). June 9: I note "A very peaceful, anxious-free feeling has entered by body the last two days". June 14: "I am tearful everyday in this new state of awareness. I am thankful for that, Lord. I am so humbled in your presence now".
You can imagine that from June on, it has been alot of activity. Holy Spirit activity. And I am obsessed with writing it all down. It is important and it isn't about me. It is so significant that I need to share it. And this blog is such an awesome tool for me. I don't know who reads this, or when they will read it. This weekend I plan on printing all of my blogs and putting them in the safe or lock box. It will be great for my kids to read them someday. It is nearly impossible to convey all of this in conversations. The doorbell rings, the Panera lady on the microphone is blurting out that a latte is ready, the dog barks, the conversation turns, the point is missed. And there goes another day in our lives that we didn't get to the meat of the matter. And another year and then we never got to it.
I know that the Holy Spirit whispered to me beginning in approximately 2006 that "You have so much work to do". I kept hearing or "knowing" this. I didn't know what that meant. I didn't recognize that as the Holy Spirit. I guess I was in my late 30's and my mom and dad had died very young from cancers so I had a bucket list. I watched that movie also back then. I was running here and there. I jumped off of Indian Joe at Delhi when I was 39, wanted to do that before I hit 40. I went to Vegas 3 times. Didn't sleep much there. But, I took all of that architecture in. (I love to marvel at buildings and design). I loved the water fountain at Bellagio. I cried when they do the water show at night to my old standard songs, especially Frank Sinatra. I went on a cruise and saw the Caribbean ocean (oh my!). And ran around New Orleans. What a crazy town. I loved it. Small doses though. I got a piano job at a fancy restaurant and sat in the window and played piano there for the diners. One man and his wife and family gave me a $20.00 tip. I got invited and watched fireworks from the top of their restaurant. They were Bosnians, now American citizens, and I got to see them celebrate their freedom and love for the U.S. on the 4th of July. That was fantastic. To see them celebrate the 4th like we don't know how to.
So, yes, the Holy Spirit didn't mean for me exactly to get all of this done. He meant for me to grow my faith and answer his call. And boy did it take a while.
The only HS whisper I can't figure out is the reoccuring one that comes into my being often and has been since approximately April. He keeps saying "Two Years". I am not too worried about what that means. I try to look at it as a positive thing. Everytime it is planted on my heart by him, I write it down and date it. It could mean two years of very rapid spiritual growth. It could mean that he is preparing me for something in two years. Regardless, I am the Lord's and I am, for the first time in my life, not afraid to die. It is such a relief. And that, my friends, has just washed over me since July! June and July 2011. A summer to remember. And I am just beginning.
1 John 2:20-21 But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth. I do not write to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the truth.
Colossians 3:1-4 Since, then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
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