Praise to God for this wonderful September weather. Praise to him for lovely full moons. All feasts for the eyes. I ask Him to bless this entry and guide me as I communicate these things. Like Paul, I have discovered I am a letter writer. Things are clicking into place. It has been a wonderful experience.
Saturday was an interesting day. I was discouraged. I found myself quiet on a lovely Saturday, my mind internally thinking, thinking. Mulling over something. I was out in the sun, catching some rays and vitamin D for the skin to soak in, staining a deck. My friend approached me about this silence. And finally I decided to spill the beans. I am under attack. Obviously, as a new believer, I have some who do not understand. They are concerned about me and my Facebook posts and quotes. They wonder where I am on Friday nights. They want to blame certain people in my life for all of this. They think this is a phase. They know not what they do, as we learn to say under our breath.
Little do they know that about 10 things have collided at different times at me over the course of 18 months, including a Bible Study at lunch hour at work on Wednesdays. "I Am Second" is such a treat for this hungry soul.
I had said a prayer as I was staining the lone railing of the deck, right before my friend approached me about being so quiet. I asked God to please give me a sign that I was on the right track. I asked Him to help me to understand what is happening to me, as others want to question what I am doing with my faith right now. "The Holy Spirit Is A Gentleman" as my Fairy Godmother at work said once when I asked her how you know if you are being appropriate with your Holy Spirit inspired actions. I took comfort in her words (Denise). Now I know if I am worshiping, throwing my net out there for future believers or leading music in a worship team someday, that the Holy Spirit will not allow me to "over do it". As long as you continue to ask the Spirit to guide you, minute by minute.
The day continued and it did improve after I shared my bruised heart to my friend. He supported me. He always does. We had a nice meal with our friend Dean and I went home for the evening.
Little did I know the Lord would again treat me with a dream that he orchestrated. And as I have said in a previous blog, the Holy Spirit conversations are in bits and pieces and puzzles to be solved later.
My dream consisted of the word "Hope". It was planted in my dream about 3-4 times. I was public speaking to a couple of different groups in different settings and my topic was "Hope". Obviously, I was evangelizing and I had an audience and they were listening. It was a great rehearsal for things yet to come for me.
I woke up and wrote down my dream. I headed to church, a little flustered because I need to pack the car for the day and didn't want to forget anything for the busy day. I couldn't get the high chair for Kinnley to fold. Joe came before church and helped with that.
Got to church on time! Got settled in, anxious for great music and discussion. There was a 9-11-01 short program. I was not wanting to deal with that and had avoided all television and newspaper exposure the prior week. But, I got a nice dose of it and needed to in remembrance. It was perfect, with hope and of course, God's promise of being ever faithful to us!
Then, I reminded my friend of the word "Hope" and my dream. And we had one song that mentioned that. I smiled at him. I think I said "Here we go".
Now, it begins..........one of the readings mentioned is Romans 8:24-25. The word "Hope" is mentioned four times.
The service was great. We sang Amazing Grace and some of those lyrics are so close to my heart right now. "Was blind, but now I see"....."How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed". Again, a previous blog I mentioned funeral songs and how painful they were for me until this spring. And we also sang How Great Thou Art. A total new meaning to me now. Now, my tears are not of pain and anguish and guilt and suffering. They are cleansing tears, relief tears. Good tears. Tears of hope. And the Lord has opened my eyes and tuned in my ears. It is simply mystifying that this Lutheran turned Catholic girl is now a born-again. I am one of "those" people that some people run from. And I used to run from them as well.
Again the "Hope Marathon" continues.
We walk out of church and I tell my friend we need to go outside. I tell him about those lyrics and how they speak to me and these lyricists (John Newton for Amazing Grace) can only be born-agains to understand this total conversion that takes you from thinking you "got it" to knowing you "got it" to a point that you appear to be a nut case.
I cry. I cry good tears. I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I have never went to the restroom at Prairie Lakes after one and 3/4 years. Can you believe that for a lady that has three children and drinks too much coffee and is in her 40's?
And there plastered on the wall as I open up the restroom door is the word "HOPE". I just laughed. God has sent His sign to me. It was a positive sign. He is saying to keep going. To keep being obedient and do as told. And He has a sense of humor. He is such a great daddy! I love Him so. And then my mood completely lifted and my spirit began to soar as I knew I had a great day ahead of my granddaughter's first birthday and my son's first football game of the season, on a lovely September day.
And my devotional today has the word "Hope". Lloyd John Ogilive mentions it today. "Our hope is not that we can be adequate enough to deserve His love, but rather that He has chosen to be our God.".
Praise to the Lord for these wonderful coincidences. He has shown me more than enough times that He is here and His Word is alive and active in my life. Amen.
Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?
Genesis 9:16-17 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.
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