First off, Praise to God! I ask for his blessings as I type this, always needing guidance to be appropriate and upright in my actions. Amen.
You know I can say there seems to be three kinds of deaths. I have personally only experienced two of them. The third is the way I envision as being the "way to go" for me and my loved ones. The two I had experienced prior to my co-worker's dad's passing were the ultimate heart breaker/test your faith deaths. One kind where there is no warning. The person is pretty much taken away from us instantly. The other kind is where, as my mom, it was cancer and it was not ending in a fair way. There was so much time in there for so much else to happen. And there is no human way she could still be with us, but she was. It seemed cruel and heart wrenching and it took me a long, long time to get over it. Years.
I would like to chose to have a terminal diagnosis myself, and have some time to reconnect with people, travel a little, get my last wishes in order and be at peace with the amount of time I was given.
No one gets their choice here. I remember losing grandparents rapidly starting in 1977 to 1981. I lost three of them. That was somewhat traumatic. I saw my dad cry for the first time at his father's funeral. How Great Thou Art took on a sad meaning after that. In fact, my grandpa died at our house when we were taking care of him. And the night before he died from what appears to be an aneurysm, he laid out his entire life to us in the storm cellar during a tornado warning. He never, ever spoke so much in his life. If only we knew and would have asked more questions that night. The next day he died at the kitchen table.
I say this because all of this death left a negative imprint on me. We were religious. We went to church. We prayed Come Lord Jesus Be Our Guest at meals. But, we didn't look at death as a homecoming. At least from what I gathered as a young girl, it was not a good thing to die. Even if you were in your 70's.
Back to my death. Since having an incredible awakening to the Lord this past year and a half, I more and more want my funeral to be something out of the early church. I want an an Acts Of The Apostles funeral. I want music and dancing and spirit moved people who I have finally connected with dancing charismatically there and tears of joy streaming down their faces. Because they had gotten to know my soul as close to what the Lord knows it to be. And I finally let some people into that empty soul. How about some Kentucky Fried Chicken there with that great coleslaw and potatoes and gravy? Yes, that is my kind of meal for my lovies. And they are ecstatic for me to get to go there to be in our Saviours arms.
Then came Denise, my wonderful friend and co-worker. We never imagined our journey 11 years ago when we met. We talked about our piano music at work. We talked a little about religion. And then her dad was getting sick. But they couldn't figure out what was going on.
I wrote Denise a letter out of no where on a morning I expected her to be at work. I had never written her a letter before, but I was journaling and she recommended journaling to me a few months prior. It was 7am and I knew her dad was hospitalized and they were running tests and I planned on giving her the letter when she arrived at 8:15 am. And then she called and said she would not be in, her dad is having tests and is hospitalized yet. And then the call came a little after nine that he had passed away. I could not believe that. And I didn't re-read my letter until I remembered I had even written it.
I opened up the letter and there I had written incredible, wonderful things about death and her brother and how I just know that Jesus had his arms wide open for Larry when Larry passed away very, very suddenly a couple of years prior. I just knew it and I had to write it for some reason. I didn't know Larry, but I knew Denise. And I was driven to write that to Denise out of the clear blue sky.
What brings the end to the sting of death for me is her father's passing and the wake it left. Such a peaceful, powerful wake. I will never forget going through the clinic and letting staff know that her father passed. We could not believe it. But, Chris had such serenity and looked me in the eyes with all the grace of God and said "Melissa, It's going to be ok. When we lost Brandon, we just knew it would be ok. Denise's family is so strong in their faith and they will get through this".
I had never heard such treasured words. And I believed her instantly. It calmed me and it just covered me. It was that day that I knew I had begun to transform into a new creation of Christ's. That very single day.
Attending the funeral was more confirmation. Denise had spoken with such grace and love and real emotion and hope, but a little shaky, I can imagine scared of all the changes coming with her mom's care. She spoke of such things such as that her father prayed for her to be a missionary even before it could ever come to fruition. She didn't know that until recently. He prayed for that for his daughter. Imagine such wonderful families.
I saw an example for one of the first times, a rock solid Christian family that goes back generations. People praying for people and families for years. Types of praying I am just learning about. Praise and prayer for all of His goodness daily. And prayer when in need. But not just cry out prayer in need. Maintenance prayer people. Pray, pray, pray. Pray for all things and not just praying for yourself and your needs.
It was today I was walking through our huge facility, on my way to the old hospital portion, and after having a wonderful faith filled chat with Denise that it was branded on my ever fearful heart, "Death Has Lost It's Sting". Thank you Holy Spirit for planting that there.
Thank you Lord Jesus for these wonderful earthly experiences so that we may all prosper in your Love and Goodness. Amen!!!
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