Praise and Glory to our Father! He is so great. I am overflowing with thanksgiving, especially today, New Years Day. He has taken me out of a wilderness, a 42 year wilderness. He pushed me through a door very quickly this last year. It was painful at times. I do not know why He pushed me so hard. He fills me up with so much that I have to blog, evangelize at work, drop God tracks, and most of all, take big "risks" for Him. I can't spend enough time with Him. I will do His work. That is scary. I don't know my Bible well yet. I am eager to keep reading it and have Him reveal to me what is next. I think He is leading me to be a worship leader in music and/or just church leadership. Or counsel women. I can't wait for Him to reveal it to me.
These are His revelations to me recently:
1) I am an abuser of alcohol. I worshiped alcohol. I see how freeing it is to admit "My name is Melissa and I have a problem with alcohol." I will not drink it if He says "no". I have rules if I have a beverage. I need guidelines and He may reveal that I should never drink again. Amen for My Father. Goodbye alcohol, the God. Look around you and see what is happening with alcohol in our world. Please pray on this.
2) I was Mary the prostitute. I had relationships with men outside of marriage. I used the excuses of "I am in a committed relationship". I bartered with God. I told Him I would marry that man I was sleeping with. I envisioned myself, this summer, wiping my tears from His feet with my hair. And I was Mary in my vision. Yes, I am a sexual sinner. I am pure now. I will remain pure for my Lord. It feels so good to be obedient, and actually, not as hard as you think to be completely abstinent. He will give you strength. I will plan on blogging specifically about sexual abstinence in the future. It is not talked about enough. I will be honored to share this topic with you. YOU CAN DO IT and be free!
3) I have an anger and jealousy problem. I am an incredibly good arguer. I am gifted in winning an argument. I use my power in the wrong ways. Now, when I know a disagreement is imminent, I pray before it even begins. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me through the conversation. I watch for signals in myself and the other party. I am looking for Satan to use our tongues. I see it quickly. The Satan that steps in. Yes, he does. He uses our mouths, our hand and body signals, even our eyes. I have seen Satan in others eyes. And yes, he obviously works through me. He loves it when I get angry. But, I am getting more and more aware of his presence. You have the power to rebuke him, IF you also get behind God. You cannot rebuke him if you do not put God in your presence. Worship God, not Satan. Think about how you are actually worshiping Satan. I was amazed when I also realized my fear of Satan and how he got so much power in my life. No more!
4) I now realize that my trip to Hades in July was real. (See my blog about my dream to Hell, while vacationing in Mexico) The Lord took me there. What seems to be revealing to me, five months later is that He was telling me to shape up for Him, and quickly. Get done with the cocktails and flirting. To simplify my life and minimize. To get with Him every day and read the Bible feverishly. I believe time is of the essence. I am aware of our world issues. I am now ready to read the prophesies of Isaiah, John and Daniel. It is time for me to read about what God revealed to these great men. The Bible is a living book and it is God's breath. It is entirely true and we need to read it and read it now. We have been in end times for over 2,000 years people. We are running out of time to reach non-Christians and Christians that are not yet filled with the Holy Spirit. I am saved and now I shall not be selfish and stop with that. I need to reach my loved ones and keep moving outside of the circle. Ask for Holy Spirit guidance. Please be bold in Christ and help people see Jesus in you. He will open doors in the conversation. It happens to me almost daily. I watch for His open doors with people. It is so cool. He rains down blessings on me, bringing people into my path.
5) I was a slayer of Christians. I was a Saul. And now, when I am scourged for my Lord, I feel double pain. Pain for the scourging I did to others. Those that did not fit in my religious box. I joined in on the chatter about so and so who went crazy for Jesus. I am not proud of that. I understand the apostle Paul so well now. But, he did not let his past get in his way. He used it to educate. To be an example for others. To be jailed and stoned for Christ. And he got up. And he continued to preach and instruct. From prison. And never, ever, ever gave up. YOU have that Holy Spirit power in you. The exact same Holy Spirit power that Paul had. Tap into it. I dare you. Do it for the advancement of the kingdom. Don't do it for any other reason.
Do you find yourself really associating alot with Bible characters? I find myself doing that all the time. It is this play, the Bible. God is such a good and almighty director of this magnificent production that never, ever ends. I am Paul alot of the time. I also have poor eyesight, apparently like he did. (He needed assistance to write his letters towards the end of his life, etc.) He had a thorn and some have said it was poor eyesight. Maybe his thorn was depression. I think I completely understand his thorn, for some reason. Whatever it was, I relate. (I understand God put that thorn there as a reminder--what is your thorn if you are born again?) He is stating over and over again that he was a sinner. But, he was chosen for his boldness. I also am bold. Now I am bold in a healthy, productive for God way. I also am a writer. (I didn't know I was until I started writing my journals to the Lord)
Paul was converted quickly, from my biblical reading and understanding. I have heard someone else give a different opinion on this. I have my entire life to continue reading the Bible, and it will continue to breathe information to me day by day. My determination on how long it actually took Paul to go into action is not exactly my point. It appears Paul though, was one minute a destroyer of Christians, and the next minute had Jesus speaking and instructing him to now spread the Good News. And he did obey! Praise for that. Where would we be without Paul? He wears many crowns and jewels in heaven, as he has saved so many souls and continues to, this day. Each person like me that reads his wonderful letters, has a chance for eternal conversion. Slayers, like me. I was a Christian, slaying Christians. Slaying the Jesus Freaks.
He killed people. I never did that. God chose him when it was God's time. God chose me when it was my time. If Paul can be completely restored to the point of actually turning centuries of people to Christ, I have to believe I am worth restoring. You are worth and able to be restored! Alleluiah! And if you are like me, a life long Christian, who was blind to the relationship with Jesus Christ that is necessary, I can bet you will have a conversion that will knock your socks off. I can't wait for you! Pray for it. Please, don't miss this chance. Have bold faith that you may be missing the last missing link.
Paul gave up most everything for Christ. He never married. He obviously doesn't mention any personal dating experiences. (He does speak of women, but not exactly in 2012 terms of the rights and freedoms we now possess). He speaks of marriage, but that it is not for everyone.
He was very well trained as a Pharisee.
Sounds like me!!
Here are my born again references of Paul's that have touched me personally this last year. They have confirmed, even though much of my family and most friends do not confirm the existence of being "born again":
Ephesians 4:20-24 You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4: 3-6 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were CALLED TO ONE HOPE WHEN YOU WERE CALLED--one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Here is part of Paul's conversion:
Acts 9: 1-19 (verses 13-16---"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name". But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."
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