Praise and Glory! Not much sleep for me last night, so what I typically do is make a plan to just be with the Lord. The last thing I try to do is lay there and let my mind wander. Yes, fear creeps in. I have learned when fear comes in the night to just say "Jesus", either whisper it to myself, and if that doesn't work, say it louder. Yes, I said it many times last night. He was right there. I put Christian music from my Sony Walkman in my ears. I am assuming someday, when we meet the Lord, all things will be made known to us. One thing I believe the Lord will reveal is the fight that has been going on all along for many of us Christians, between the angels and "others". The "others" used to win and scare me. Now, I may have fear, but I know how to combat that fear. Everyday, I gain strength.
Biblically, it tells me all I need to know about how protected I am, now that I am sealed with the Holy Spirit. All Satan can do is deceive. He has wanted me to be scared since I can remember, and I think I know where this all started. I have taken it to the Lord, my dabbling with slumber party type demonic activities. But, I know in my heart this dabbling goes beyond me, in my family tree. I will continue to use the Bible as my rock and foundation. Age brings wisdom and the rest of my years with Jesus will arm me more and more. Praise you Lord for your comfort. I lean on you, sometimes cling. The Father of Lies had lost the battle long ago. He can't win a battle already lost. He is desperate to knock me to my knees, and must have known all along I would have loose lips for You someday, as you revealed to me last year, to do. I am a warrior for You. I need you, step by step. What Satan's strategy against me is absolutely paralyzing me in fear. The type of fear that makes you freeze. I have frozen many times in my life as horrific things happened around me. They happened to my family members and myself. Now, through intense Bible reading over the last year, and reading approximately 20 books in 12 months (all Holy Ghost energy---I have never read like that in my life, all since being recreated in Christ), I know exactly what is going on. I will no longer turn a blind eye to it, so that I may continue to surf along and put frosting on everything. There are enemies against us, but fear not. You put on Christ and you find you really have already won!
I have been wanting to watch The Apostle since my conversion last April. There is a neat story behind this movie. It was produced in 1997. I converted to Catholicism in 1997-1998. I had a somewhat huge awakening to Christ, but, it was not Holy Spirit filled. Now I know that. I was reading my Bible, attending Bible studies, teaching religion to youth, and was the church pianist. I even lead a Bible study session! The problem was, and I didn't know this at the time, was that not everyone could really jump on this Catholic train to heaven. So, I am the only Catholic now in a family of Lutherans, and many were not regular church attenders anyhow. I am trying to spread the Good News, but when they come to my church, they cannot receive communion. They are confused, and rightly so. I am thus defending my church like a martyr. And they are trying to be happy for me, but I wasn't gathering a flock. It was a club they could not attend. They got invited to the party, but they couldn't step into the formal dining room type thing. But, others could. Only those who followed the rigid, religious customs.
My mother passed in 2005. She watched this movie with me in 1998. She bought it for me in approximately 2000. She didn't say much, which wasn't like her. She typically said a lot and more than you wanted or needed to hear. She did say, "Miss, I got you this movie at a rummage sale, because I knew you really liked it".
I remember being mesmerized watching this movie. The opening scene is amazing, and coming from my childhood Lutheran and adult Catholic background, you don't see people getting "saved" at all. It is private. And really, an outright conversion to shed the old ways was just not common. I never saw an altar call happen until a few years ago, in a Vineyard type church. I never heard of someone being bold enough to realize that they had enough of the Spirit in them to change destinies, by offering salvation to someone.
As I watched the movie, it excited me. It did not make me uncomfortable. I believe my take on this in 1998 was that in this type of church situation, these parishioners are being genuine in their worship. Now, that is a lot to say for me, coming from my rigid religious background.
I guess I was very open to other types of worship. It did open a door in my heart, I believe. I have been telling a loved one for months that I wanted to watch this VHS copy of The Apostle, that my mother bought me.
So, I watched it in 2012 and I cried tears, boy did I cry good.
There are many seasoned Christians that are saying we seem to have a "Holy Rollers Revival" goin' on! Isn't that full of hope!! Would I love to see canvas tents going up in parks. I have never been to a tent revival. That is on my list.
Would you be open to watching this movie? I would love for you to see it. I see a new viewer from Italy now. Welcome.
I honestly believe the Lord works through us, even through movies. Even like me, you may watch it this week, and in 14 years, it may come through you like a locomotive train! (I just watched Josh Turner's testimony on I am Second.com and his song, Long Black Train is divinely inspired. He will explain). So, trains are really on my mind these days.
Another beautiful thing, is that I have a renewed connection to my mother, through this movie. This $2.00 movie links us together in a spiritual way, that no inherited piece of jewelry or furniture can match. Our relationship grows evermore, at least in my heart. I am having a nice time getting to know her a new way, since uncovering all of my childhood pain this last 1.5 years, facing it, getting a little mad at my parents, and now restoring my love for them, for who they were. It feels so much better to pull out those painful thorns. But, it is painful and scary to remove the thorn. Once it is gone, it heals. The scar is there, but over time, I am seeing that scar slowly disappear.
Join in my journey to forgive everyone of everything. And as Josh Turner puts it "Watch out brother for that long, black train".
Colossians 2: 16 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a new moon celebration or a Sabbath day.
1 Corinthians 14: 26 What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.
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