Glory to God on High! The Christmas tree is up, the pine scent from Bath and Body Works is in the air, the $7.00 Christmas shirt is on the dog and the Yule Log DVD is "burning" on the TV screen: (see below for fun):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLmwmX-mni8
What can I say? I need to keep it light at times and especially leading into this topic. Audience: This is for the married, the single, the homosexual, the confused, the lonely and the curious! The subject of sexual purity needs to be discussed.
Can you remember when you lost your purity? (I am not talking about virginity.) Did you find your dad's Playboy under the bathroom cabinet? Did your friends show you a X rated video? Was there a slumber party that you wished you would not have gone to?
The sad thing is, many of us who claim that the world now is saturated in sex (yes it is, and it is getting worse), ourselves found sexual situations very early in life, and easily.
Unfortunately, the way my parents handled sexuality was somewhat normal. My parents were born in 1933 and 1935, and this generation seemed to handle things by not talking about them so they do not happen. This, I believe has to do somewhat with the Great Depression, and their parents way of surviving. Many in that generation give themselves a pat on the back that they went through it. That they survived it. God was not given the Glory always for feeding the mouths, providing jobs and keeping people in shelter during that time. In part, this and the previous generation grew hard and cold. Also, this generation or at least my parents offered little understanding as we made mistakes. There was no room for "education" as we made mistakes. An iron fist was the way to go. What is strange is that neither of my parents came from this type of home. I think the fear of the deterioration of society in the 1960's drove them to really hunker down on us. That is my only explanation. I forgive them. But, I learn from this. We need to talk to our children. We need to keep the door open for their questions. We need the Bible available for backup.
I got pregnant at the age of 18. It is absolutely my fault. (and my boyfriends) We truly were just drinking buddies who thought we loved each other. We got married. My husband really didn't want to, even though it wasn't absolutely obvious at the time. Now, I look back and his heart was not in this. He got into drugs within 2 years of our marriage. We lasted 5 more. It was the most miserable 7 years of life I can imagine. I tried so hard, but he did not accept my love. He left, filling a paper grocery bag with items on a Saturday. He went to live with his parents, and later lived with a girlfriend. He was killed two years after he left, a passenger in a drunk driving accident. I have two children by him. They were 4 and 9 at the time of their dad's death. If you ask me: It all is surreal and a fuzzy nightmare that just could not have happened to me. I was blessed with two children, and in that I knew I was made to be a mommy. Through crisis and turmoil in this marriage, I held my head high for my children and celebrated life with them. In Christ, I can do all things. Philippians 4:13.
How can I change this paradigm for my children and grandchildren and express this to any and every soul that wants to listen?
First off, let's talk about what is pure and good and what our heavenly Father wishes for us! A Good Father wants the best for His children. He wants to protect. He wants the best for them. He wants them free from diseases (STDs and HIV). He wants them to have children in the beauty of marriage. He wants us guilt free.
He does not want us to view pornography in any form, ever. He does not want us to watch racy TV (NBC at 8pm is filth!) He does not want us to go to Passion Parties. To steer away from books that titillate us, to edit the sexist jokes, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, the soap operas and the cleavage bearing shirts, ladies.
I am not a prude. I am born again in Christ. The Lord has healed me from many things since the Holy Spirit filled me. One is that He granted me purity, and an ability to be free from this "want". He shared the yoke with me, and it is light. It is not hard for me to be pure, now.
Do you understand the New Covenant? Well, prior to your conversion, you will be under the Old Covenant, even if you fight it. The Old Covenant was necessary and Jesus came to fulfill it. It is/was good. But there is more to the Old Covenant. You are under condemnation (The Law), that Moses established through God. That is why you are restless. You are seeking to fill that hole. You are a sinner, just like a Believer, but you cannot quit sinning. Your habitual sins have control over you. You are waking up Sunday morning anxious about the night before. If you are like me, this condemnation increased in intensity. It included more "symptoms": Palpitations, intense anxiety and depression, anger, increase in alcohol use and GUILT! You see, guilt is a gift before you are born again! I believe that! There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
You (like I did), live like the world when it comes to sex. Us ladies try to restrain. We try to "establish" the relationship as committed before we have sex. Guys know this. Us ladies bargain with God. We say things to God like, "Count this as being married, because I plan on getting married to him". God knows the animal in man. Women try to ignore it. Outside of marriage, women who are sexual to their partner lose all control of the relationship after giving in, even though we think we have control.
Then, the woman lets the man live with her. She thinks this is the next step towards marriage. Actually, it is a bargain for the man. He splits the bills, gets regular sex, and gains time now to delay an engagement because they are "trying this out instead". And usually it ends in a breakup and the female has another heartache. A baby comes along as well.............With no intention of marriage.
Ladies: Knock it off! I see women driving men around in cars all the time and these hard working 20+ year old girls are being used! The lady is working hard, letting the man live with her, sharing her hopes and dreams and expecting a miracle. We women had better learn to live alone and wait for the right partner. An abstinent partner. Yes, it is possible.
Many churches have "singles" groups, but no abstinence or purity groups. I know who goes to single Christian groups, because I used to go to them in the '90's because I was lonely and looking for a "good Christian man". Boy, will you find all kinds of "Christian" gals and guys out there. Be careful. I beg you, be careful. There is typically tares planted within the wheat.
I haven't yet dated a man who wasn't "Christian". I will not listen to that line, now. If I date again, I am looking for a surrendered to Jesus Christ man. A man who has received and understands the revelation of purity. Yes, it is a revelation. But, sex is too fun, so most men think it is impossible. (and women) Lack of faith puts man and woman into a void when it comes to this revelation. So, God will not grant it. Faith is more than believing in Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. That is just the beginning. (But the most important thing you will ever do). After that, there can and will be innumerable revelations available to you, if you get yourself humbled in prayer and Bible reading and surrender. Have Scripture that you do not understand or fight with? Ask God for revelation. Be patient. Be alert and on the look out for His answer.
Singles: It takes a long time to get to know someone. There are mask wearers out there. Someone who claims to be born again could be a liar. Anyone who is truly born again will eventually shed their sinful habits of the past. They will continue to have victory over them. They will not resemble someone of the world. If they are all "talk" and no fruit, get away from them. Look at their fruit. Realize yourself that if sex was a weakness ever for you yourself, you need to be in prayer about it often and on guard. The enemy will try to use it against you over and over again.
If you lose your heart to someone (this can happen in matter of moments), you are in grave danger of not being able to see who they really are. A spell is cast. You know what I mean. Once that love spell comes over you, it is very, very difficult to see the reality. How do we do this then?
Hand holding! Maybe a peck on the lips or cheek! Yes! It is great. Lots of time together during the day, not at night. Do things in groups. Be careful when you are in each other's homes.
The light cannot stand the darkness. John 1:5 states "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." Ephesians 5:8 states "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light".
If you date this person long enough, the darkness will be revealed. This will mean months and more likely years. Are you a child of the light yourself? If you are not sure, you need to find a Bible believing church. You need to pray and seek the Lord. You need to confess your sin and repent (turn). You need to believe that you are WORTHY of this! You belong in the Kingdom. Yes, you. Regardless of your sexual past. Take your sexual past to the Lord.
If the Lord can heal me of the sexual bug, he can heal you: A homosexual, lesbian, transgender, confused, bi-sexual, multiple and many partners person! He can heal you in your "living together" situation. He will fill that void. He is the ultimate lover of your heart, and He is desiring for you to be obedient in this matter. He commands it of us.
Yes, I believe some are born with tendencies outside of the norm. This is true in every way. Some of us are fringe people. Personalities are on the fringe, and sexuality could be your "thorn". Many people are intrigued by the same sex. It doesn't mean that you need to act on it. Throw the thoughts out of your mind, minute by minute. Jesus wants to heal you from this. He wants to take on your burden. Yes, Satan will come in your dreams. Be a warrior for Christ. Pray before you get into the situations that cause you to stumble or nearly stumble.
Honestly, you ask, how do you know this, On Fire For The Lord, Blogger lady? I know when a miracle happens and it has happened to me. Jesus wants to heal you. He healed the lady at the well. He healed me in the same way. He forgave her, He forgave me. It is behind me. I put my head on my pillow each and every night now, with peace in my heart, that I am pure for the Lord. No regrets now.
It is supernatural. You will not be able to do this all on your own strength. But, it can start with you taking a stand and talking to your partner and stating the truth of the Bible. It can start with you "fasting" from your partner who is engaging you in fornication, lustful married sex, homosexual sex or inappropriate sex. All sin outside of marriage, all homosexual sin, all lusting is SIN! It is one and the same. The married people are not protected, just because they are married. If they are lusting after magazines, laptops and the co-worker they flirt with, they are committing the same act of sin as the single people, straight or gay.
Ladies: This book changed my life: It is called "Every Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge. It speaks to ALL women regarding sexual purity in marriage and outside of marriage. Men: Read "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn.
Beautiful, healthy, Godly sex is for marriage. Billy Graham is not shy, talking about sex in marriage and the delight of it, the pleasure of it. Check him out. Not a prude!!!! Get on some God and enjoy life in Christ. You can do it. If once boy crazy me can do it, anyone can!
Please enjoy this video for encouragement as you consider a life of purity and how "Nothing Is Impossible"!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z20Q95IPWQ8
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