Praise and Glory to God our Father! Let's go deep with Him. There is nothing shallow about a Jesus follower. I guess the Lord did prepare me, my entire life to be a future committed follower. (This is not a phase. I am finally on the Holy Spirit led journey). I was such a deep thinker my entire life, even as a kid. I have been condemned for this over and over again. I asked alot of questions my entire life. I asked questions that most adults cannot answer, but I still sought out. I did find out I was mostly surrounded by people that were not comfortable going deep. There was alot of hiding going on. Not alot of sharing. And not alot of hope.
I remember asking my mom about eternity. I must have been 10. I first talked about the element of time and eternity to her. And then about the sky. "Does it really not end?". She answered it pretty well. We got into a short talk about God. I can remember the pain and tears I had, realizing that there is a concept out there and it cannot be explained or experienced on this earth. And it is called eternity. My head hurt. I could not wrap my brains around it. It bothered me for days after that realization. Yes, I did cry.
My life has changed dramatically the last 15 months. I have girlfriends, family members and old boyfriends asking everyone but ME what is going on. They are all Christians. Some go to church, some do not. No one contacts me to ask me why I have changed. I quit joining in on the social circles. Nothing was getting accomplished. It had been bugging me for a few years. No one really talks about their achievements, their kids achievements or their faith journey, their goals with work. Just getting caught up on who's doing what. And where the next party is. I quit going to extended family gatherings that have proved year after year to be unpleasant. No, there is no sin in that. You need to protect yourself from one of the most powerful forces on earth: Negativity.
You see: I found I was not walking in the light. The Holy Spirit is quite helpful in correction once you do decide to walk in the light.
Once you proclaim Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, who has died on the cross for your sins so that you may have eternal life, well, you just can't say that, have the Holy Spirit fill you and keep doing the darkness. And it is depressing, the darkness you missed seeing that encompassed much of your "old" life. So much is "darkness" that I did not realize. Now, the veil has been lifted. But, it is overwhelming, all of this knowledge that you have.
I will tell you: Have faith my friends. Read your Bible with passion and the Holy Spirit will guide you, help you make decisions. Be daring and let go of the past people and circumstances if you need to. They may be drawn to you eventually, hoping to be more like you, in your new created self.
What if you are the only one in your family that is born again? What if your family is a weekly church going family and they still do not support you?
Again: Fear not. Many of the leaders in the Bible were babies of the family. Isn't that a relief? And even Jesus was questioned by his own family. That is why our Holy Book is so helpful!!! You will find that the stories (they are all TRUE stories) are guides for your life now. I love this!! I sometimes find myself thinking I am a Paul, or a Joseph or a David. (no, I am not being arrogant--this is what the Bible wants to do FOR YOU. Come to life!)
One problem I think "religious but not Holy Spirit filled" people do is have a hard time with born agains because they don't truly believe in 1) Prayer that really is powerful and works for you or your loved ones (how arrogant they say). 2) Having conversations with God through the Holy Spirit (how arrogant they say). 3) Conversions in other Christians that are so life-changing for others and not them (how arrogant they say).
Lord Jesus Christ, please help all Christians remove the veil that is obstructing their view from these miracles you want to expose here on earth in 2011!!!! It truly is my prayer some mornings!!! How much to miss.
If you are a born again, I would bet you can relate with this blog today. It is a hard journey. I could easily slip back into my past life. And also forfeit the progress I have made. And let alcohol and sexual immorality creep back in. And not spend this precious time with the Lord daily. And probably satan would leave me alone, on purpose. He would show me how EASY it is, by stopping his spiritual attacks on me and everyone around me. The gossip would stop and everyone would take a deep sigh of relief that Missy is ok now. "She was just obsessed with the religion thing for awhile".
Truly, I even have people in my life who I believed were on the road to being Holy Spirit Jesus Followers who are the most critical. You see, life got hard and they stepped back. One of these precious people hasn't went to church in years now.
Why is it that even in religious matters, let alone general achievement matters, peers cannot just support your journey upward? Women are so guilty of this. We almost wait for the bad news about the "other" women. Be honest. It is hard to be genuinely happy for others that have something that you do not.
And then when it comes to someone who is so excited about the Lord, we can't stand to be around them. Almost just make a cross with the index fingers of each hand to force them back away from you.
Why is that so uncomfortable? I can tell you I was uncomfortable with born agains around me. I didn't really have many in my life, but when someone mentioned in gossip circles that "so and so went wacko for the Lord and we think they are losing their mind", I probably avoided them. I had it all figured out, having my checklist complete for God: Baptized at birth, went to church off and on, taught religion class off and on, prayed a memorized prayer sometimes, didn't murder anyone and thought I was doing better than those criminals out there.......
That is where most Christians get stuck.
And people like me come from religions that do not open their Bibles. The Bible obviously has not come to life for many in my life. There is little support in my small, tight circle of relatives and friends.
That is where the gossip starts. They think your new church is a cult. They think "they" are brainwashing you. But, really, you are on your own because everyone that was weaved into your old life does not support your new life. You are being judgemental because you don't want to drink. You don't want to gossip. You want to be painfully honest and positive. You have contemporary Christian music on and TV crap off.
I am so happy for the generational healthy Christian families that are out there. I work with some. They are and always have been surrounded by deeply spiritual, Bible reading, prayer believing people. They produce these beautiful fruits. Their parents and grandparents produced this luscious fruit from the vine. I am not jealous. I am so happy for them. And keep on truckin' you glorious, healthy families!!!!
So, I do not have that. But a few people in my life have come to the Lord since I have. (Amen, Father! Father, You are so awesome and all praise to You!) So, since I do not have the immediate resources, I have to go out and get them. I need to buckle down and find a support group. I do have a Bible study weekly, I do read my Bible at least 5 days a week and I do try to keep Joyce Meyer Ministries on the TV daily, along with a devotion to praise God for all he does. I have a new plan. My new plan is just the beginning of a lifelong walk with God.
As some have put it to me: We (born agains) are the most powerful tool God uses to get more Christians and non believers over to Him. And those of us born again that do not come from Holy Spirit filled families, we are the most (in my opinion) radical and outspoken and excited. Because we simply cannot believe how good this feels and how different it is from the lies we have believed our entire lives!!!!!
Have Faith! Find resources. Read great books. Read your Bible! Don't waiver. Worship with all your might!! (It feels great to put your hand in the air during worship!)
If you have a bad day, remember it's just a bad day. Your old life would call that a day to turn back to evil things. Now, you have the Spirit living in you. Sometimes the work it is doing in you is not evident right away. I will never turn back, because this time the Word of God came alive to me in the Scriptures. He has provided me all I need. And I am continually handing him the wheel. Altar placing daily. Refining. Repenting. Praising. Praising!
Psalm 69: 18-20 Come near and rescue me; redeem me because of my foes. You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed; all my enemies are before you. Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none.
Psalm 70: 3-4 May those who say to me "Aha! Aha!" turn back because of their shame. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "Let God be exalted!"
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