Praise and Glory to our Lord! What a great stretch of autumn weather. I hope you find this entry helpful in your journey towards a deeper relationship with Jesus. If you are like me, I was so relieved to find other Christians, who I thought were "on another level that I could not achieve", were really just a step or two ahead of me. And to have them admit to me that they were truly on a journey just like I was, was such a relief! Thank you to those co-workers who witnessed to me, and since our I Am Second Bible Study began in January of this year, they have shared items intimately to their course with the Lord that could only help others. Now, I am sharing intimately with you. It is worth all risks! I have my sister-in-Christ, Denise who is helping monitor my blog for emotional items that might hurt others, along with my boyfriend, Joe. I am so blessed with a handful of people that have sprinkled my life, that are true friends. We have been bound in Christ, and I have never experienced such joy, knowing people in this new realm. If you don't have these kinds of people in your circle, please find a way. Witness more, even if in subtle ways. Wear a religious piece of clothing or jewelry. Or if you are reading a good religious book, if they ask what you are reading, look at that as an open door to share the book's contents and why you are reading it. Don't lose those chances. And also, look at who you are spending your time with. If you only have so much free time to be social, why spend it where it is loud and always has to include alcohol? Try a coffee shop or your kitchen table. If those people don't conform to your new walk in Christ, you need to move on. If you are valued in their eyes, they will see you in the atmosphere of a quiet coffee shop. If they decline, there is the answer for you. It is painful. I have had great pain because of this. But, I have gained so many other friends. I have had women contact me on Facebook, women from my past. And I AM having coffee with them. And we ARE talking 80% of our valuable, limited social time about Jesus Christ. And it includes tears, usually. And we share our love for this awesome God! I have been blessed with this walk with the Lord which included loss of loved ones. In their season, they may be back. Or they may decide a quiet kitchen table is a fresh alternative to a loud restaurant/pub.
I mention that "Christianity Is The Door" because of an incredible "coincidence". Yes, we born agains and others who have a personal relationship with Christ have all kinds of collisions with items, sometimes on a daily basis. It is the Lord's way of showing us he is here, through the Holy Spirit.
For a number of months into my very fast paced awakening to the Holy Spirit, I was thinking of "the door". I told my coworker, that "I feel like I am almost ready to break through the door". It is so interesting. The author, John Eldredge (Please, please read his books if you have not. May I especially recommend The Sacred Romance?) had mentioned in his book "Waking The Dead", that Christianity IS the door. That concept completely makes sense. Someone put it into human terms. John is such an excellent author, using his love story type themes to help us understand this romantic relationship with Christ, that so many of us are missing!
What I believe he is trying to say, is that so many Christians are not opening the door. They are living out their church rituals, they are loving the easy to love, they are not swearing, they are not doing drugs, they are stating things like "my family founded our church" or "we got our church in this weekend". And the evil one is telling them that is enough. They are set. (John 3:16). So, they don't read their Bibles, they don't crave church services hungrily, they don't sit with their loved ones and discuss who in the community needs to hear the word of God and how are they going to accomplish getting His word out to more people.
I used to be a person, a Catholic person, that would "get my church in". I may have blogged this earlier, but one service I went to, I clocked it and it was 37 minutes. And some Catholics leave the church after they receive communion, so that person probably clocked in it at 29 minutes. In my opinion, in my old self, I figured I was getting the Bible read to me during the 1st and 2nd Readings and the Gospel reading, and also through the lyrics of the hymns. So in my world back then, I had it covered. I was missing out on so much.
I sat at work last week, in the early morning hour, and did my devotion. And then I felt compelled to sketch.
What I drew was the pit. And drew a stick figure (me). And I am in the pit. And then I drew an area between this and a door.
For years (oh my, can you believe years) I thought in my head and proclaimed to some loved ones that I felt like I was in a pit. But, I was nearly out of the pit. I just couldn't get out of the pit. My feet were dangling yet in the pit, but my hands were clawing, trying to get completely out.
It was an awful feeling. I felt somewhat relieved, because at least when I finally could put it into words (the pit), I realized the end was near. The dreadful, darkness times were soon to be over. A new start was ahead.
And then I started attending more hopeful churches. I started asking a ton of questions of those around me. I started loving more and complaining less. I started to take note of what I was really doing with my time and who I was doing it with. I started realizing what guilt and shame were doing to me. I started to read great books (The Shack, etc.). I moved my boys to Waterloo, to get a fresh start in a larger town with more opportunities and a bigger population of diverse people. I bought a big old house in a great neighborhood, with all kinds of people that were not all related to each other like in small towns. (That's just fine, unless you are the family that isn't related to anyone in the small town) I realized there was so much beyond the pit!
So what do you do when you are out of the pit? Well, I guess I was cruising and enjoying for a while. But, I was growing and didn't realize it!!! Everything I observed, I believe was preparing me for this intimate relationship. So, I kept on attending open Bible/born again type churches. I was listening, listening. And asking some deep questions of people.
And then, I began to realize there was another layer that was out there. I started to observe people that I thought were seeing a bigger picture. They had went through The Door. Now I realize that.
And I went through that door in July of 2011!!!! It was such a relief to proclaim that. But, I can also say that it took alot of tears and talking to God. And alot of altar placing. And now, continual self reflection and readjusting. And asking that Holy Spirit to please come into my presence when I feel he is far away. And as I told a loved one today, the moist eyes come then. And I have that wonderful feeling. And I know He is right there. We are through the door together. He doesn't want me to go too far from Him. He loves that I call him often. He loves that I jumped into his Fatherly arms in July. And I will never go to the pit again. I can't. He is holding me!!! Amen, Jesus. From, your lovely beloved daughter. Thank you for being there all along. Thank you for not giving up on me because of my worldly behaviors. Thank you for dying on the cross for us!
Revelation 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Psalm 40:2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set me fee on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
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