Praise and Glory to our Lord! He is so good! I hope your faith journey is bringing you maturity. If you back-slide, that's ok. Just get back on the bus.
I'm going to be courageous by blogging about what I assume was a near death experience. This does take alot for me to type this. I may pull this one down if it doesn't feel just right. But, for now I will be raw and honest about what happened to me. It has apparently happened to many. I wonder if God was speaking to me in this experience about what I was doing with my life. I am open to that possibility.
As you may know, I have been on a very fast track the last few months. This is a healthy fast track. I have been turned inside out and it is still occurring. The acute pain of that is now subsiding. (and the mourning of my old life) At this time, it is just a continual renewal of things I have hid in my heart from the Lord. So, I am dealing with those things, but the joy I now feel, having the Holy Spirit living in me, ever present, is the most wonderful thing imaginable.
Let me explain a few things: I had been having palpitations and all kinds of "heart" sensation problems for months prior to this experience. I also am certain I have sleep apnea. I gasp for air, wake up snorting, snoring. In addition, I am a sleep walker and have hypnagogic hallucinations. (I learned about these first on an educational channel such as A & E years ago.). So, to iron out this experience, which happened during sleep, is a little tricky. But, it is worth sharing.
I was in Mexico at my nephew's wedding. It was July and very hot. We had arrived in Mexico in the evening and the next day woke up early for an excursion. That included a full day of sight seeing and snorkeling. The heat was incredible.
One of the snorkeling experiences was very scary. It was in a cave, and at times, no natural light. We were in the cave, some without life jackets, for about an hour. Luckily, I asked for a life jacket. We swam into the caves thousands of feet from the outlet. We did have flashlights. It was as deep as 20 feet at times. And the head clearance at times was almost zero. We had to duck to not hit our heads on the stalactites. (we had to immerse our head under water and try to maneuver the snorkel with just inches clearance between the rock and the water) I did hit my head, but only got a small contusion. One of the persons with us (this was in the wedding party of about 15 in number), was an experienced snorkeler. She had a panic attack. She is in excellent physical shape. My ex-brother in law had an asthma attack. One of the party members had to stop early. The steel rod in his leg was aching severely because of the cold water and sudden cold conditions in the cave. There was wide spread fear in our group. At times we could not find each other. At times, all I could hear was Spanish speaking men, in the dark cold water. I don't know where they came from! We all decided after we got off the bus of this EdVentures experience that it seemed unsafe and poorly explained. And it wasn't fun to hear that there were Mayan sacrifices done in this very cave. (found out while we are in the cave and many miles and hours from our hotel).
We also visited the ruins of Tulum. That was such a beautiful view of the ocean there. The most beautiful view I have to say that I have experienced yet in my lifetime. But, no water to swim in, and very hot.
I mention the activities of the day to explain we were probably dehydrated. And anxious about our safety.
I saw a cardiologist when I returned from this trip. I had been worked up in February and wore a Holter Monitor and it did show runs of arrhythmias and palpitations. Nothing severe, but I did go on a medicine to help.
The cardiologist does believe in NDE's. (Near Death Experiences). He does believe it could very well be that I had a very low potassium (dehydrated from the flight the day before and from the extreme heat), had a severe arrhythmia, and possibly went out for a little while. I was supposed to follow up again with additional tests, but I decided not to. I feel that things are better and arrhythmias are sometimes hard to catch if they are sporadic I will see him again if I had any more problems.
Here is what I documented as soon as I could after the event. Please be certain I made a decision to not explore the Internet or anything else before I wrote down exactly what happened to me. I wanted to not be swayed away from what I saw and felt "there". Here it goes:
"Slowly lowered, floating this entire dream, no natural light, in a cave type rock structure, (it seemed never ending in size, height and length). It was hollow in the center. It appeared to be a span of about 500 feet, maybe more, across from one ledge to the other. There were at least hundreds of ledges that I could see. There were thousands of people, beings having different conversations at once. You could hear all of these hundreds of conversations at one time. It was just a low murmur of chatting. No one was anxious at all. They seemed peaceful. There were colonies of people on each ledge. Just waiting and talking. A few times I seemed to float closer to a few of the ledges, but then I floated away against my will. I was trying to look at them closer, but I didn't have any success at doing that, or landing on the ledge. The colors were black, white and gray. There was no fear in these beings. These beings did not resemble people. But I knew they were people. I didn't identify any of these beings as anyone that I knew personally. They all seemed to look exactly the same as one another. They did appear to be male and female in gender. I couldn't narrow in on their conversations, but there was not any great emotion in anything they were saying. They just seemed to be waiting patiently. They emitted a glow. That was the only light I could recognize in the cave structure. They produced the light.
I was being pulled down. I was not afraid, I was curious. But, cautious. I kept being pulled down by a force, lowered against my will. It was a force pulling me, not a being or a person that I could see. I was only going down and it seemed to me like it was going to be a one way street, down. An eternal journey.
I felt the pull getting more intense and my fear and strength were increasing. I was being lowered into this eternal hollow hole. I believe in my senses (in my dream state), that I had an inclination that this was hell, hades or purgatory I was going to. I started to fight hard to rise up in this hole. I was thrashing and I can tell you that I have never fought physically for anything so hard in my life. I feel I was being made to stay against my will or better judgement. A voice was (or a sense of knowing-I am not sure which), was proclaiming that I was staying down there and I realized my life on earth was ending.
I pulled and fought the force and leaped out of my bed in this hotel in Mexico. My sister witnessed how far I leaped from the bed. It terrified her. I was still in a dream state, grabbed her in the bed next to me and told her "Pam, they want to take me against my will and I don't want to go, don't let them take me". She said my hand was hot. She prayed for me.
I woke up to some degree in the bathroom, after walking in there. But, not completely awake. I went to bed again.
The next day she was very concerned and told me exactly what I said to her. Then I recalled the dream completely, resurrecting it. I was horrified.
I share this with you for many reasons. I do think it was more than a dream. Yes, I was snorkeling in a cave like structure the day of this dream, so there is some coincidence there. But, the Lord has spoke to me in dreams before. Usually, that is instruction that he gives me. This dream was not fun, it took me months to get over.
I started proclaiming to be a born again Christian just two months prior to this dream. I wasn't yet "walking the walk". I was trying to live in both worlds. I thought I could straddle the fence and have my earthly pleasures and proclaim to be born again. I was the ultimate hypocrite. I can vividly remember three times I was stopped dead in my tracks, realizing I was not going to be able to continue this behavior, even though it was modified now. Really, I was stopped dead in my tracks. I knew that the Holy Spirit was warning me to wake up, don't waste any more time and don't try to manipulate God.
My Mexico all inclusive resort included drinking all of the top shelf drinks you wanted, fine dining all day, all night, buffets, spoiling. It was spoiling like I had never known. I had never been on such a lavious trip. But, the last day of our trip, I watched the sun go down all alone. It was so beautiful. I took a picture of it. My camera batteries died exactly after I took that photo. (interesting , huh?) I cried. I knew that this was ending. And I needed to really end my cocktail lifestyle and indulging myself when others all over the world and even in my back yard don't have enough. I knew this was the turning point of my life. And until recently, I didn't recognize that this dream happened in Mexico as a possible warning. To walk in the light, because I am so valuable to Him. He brought me this far. And I am proclaiming the Good News. Now, I better walk the walk. Or face a consequence of unknown destiny. Doing all of this with urgency, trying to spread the good news of the Gospel.
I wish no one to go to Hell. No one.
James 3: 9-12 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
2 Corinthians 7: 10-11 Godly sorrow brings repentence that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this Godly sorrow has produced in you; what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.
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