Glory to God! Glory and Honor, only to our Father. I am only a vessel. Let His Spirit provide all of the provisions for me to create this entry, for His Glory.
Part of the enjoyment of this blog for me, created last September, is to provide a living, breathing testimony of my journey with the Lord. It is ever evolving. Just as we are being sanctified daily, with every breath asking the Lord to change us into being more Christ-like, I am fulfilled being able to capture many key points in my life, going back to my first memories, so that I might show you that your journey, whether you feel you are filled with the Holy Spirit or not yet, is a journey toward Jesus Christ being your most intimate ally. Please pray the Holy Spirit will fill you. Find a church that talks of that. Pray for believers to collide on your path, to help you open up to this.
Let me begin with the Good News. I will share details of my last few years with you. I felt birth pains and didn't even realize it. Now, I am here to reveal this to you, so that you might understand the Glory that is coming your way. Yes, if you are born again, you should continue to read. A good minister of the Word tries to include in his/her message, a revelation for all who have ears to hear. Don't get so heady that you skip messages, because you think you got it. Beware, and become a child. I truly say, beware, or the Word could become hidden. Ephesians 1:17-18 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
I was not exactly surrounded by faith filled people most of my life. I was surrounded by religious people who acted a way that I learned to emulate. Religious people who confused me. Then, the Gospel confused me. I found it bitter. Impossible to understand how anyone could read that and feel good. How anyone could actually be able to follow all of those rules, etc. But one of my strengths was that I could memorize phrases people said and moments in time. I can truly go back to a snap shot of a situation with almost all of the reality that it held at the time it occurred. Can this be painful? Yes. I have worked hard at not going back to places of pain. If I do, I retreat quickly, and ask Jesus to take me out of there.
But, I recall phrases and situations that even non-believers said to me over the years that were actually words of knowledge! The "giver" didn't even know God was using them. Take a moment to look back at phrases said to you, and be open to those being words of knowledge. I wasn't born of the Spirit yet, but God wastes nothing. Now that I am born of the Spirit, living and dwelling in the Spirit of God, I see how God utilized every crumb of my past, and mostly used people, some of them wicked, to provide insight to understand where I am now.
Here are some of my birth pains: 1) Within the three years prior to my supernatural knowing that I was a child of God and that my entire life was now changing (April 14, 2011), I was having increasing guilt about sexual relation outside of marriage. I sought counsel on this from Priests and licensed social workers. I got the WRONG answers! Boy, the Devil is active. They truly were not speaking from what the Word of God states, and they obviously were not Spirit led people. I may someday posts their comments to me, which will blow you away. But, I will cover that later. The good news is that I kept seeking the answer. That answer really only comes from God, through His Word and through revelation after being Born Again.
2) My "medical conditions" of asthma, allergies, and anxiety were increasing in intensity. I was struggling with acute and chronic asthma and asthma attacks. I was having palpitations and nightmares about my medical conditions.
3) My ability to smoke and drink was changing. I was having very severe asthma due to my occasional smokes. Months of asthma conditions making me truly sick and scared. An ER visit with oxygen hooked to me. And more medicines.............Boy, watch out. Those fancy Walgreens and CVS pharmacies are making a bundle off of you and your insurance company. You drive thru a pharmacy as you get a BAG of medicine. Not just one bottle. A BAG. A blog on that in the future.
I was starting to see a sort of deception with alcohol. The Friday after work drinks. And guess what we did over our drinks? Talk of nothing positive. It is like God starts letting you look through a different lens as a gift. And soon you see the deception of alcohol and the stumbling it causes. I also started seeing through those lenses a sort of evil that occurs in these places of drinking. Yes, that can mean hockey games and outdoor music festivals, not just restaurants or bars. The way men feel they have a way to look at you, or talk to you. Or worse, the vultures all of these years that thought they had a right to touch you. Even if it is a brushing against. Unfortunately, I have suffered much worse than a brush, a number of times.
Along with my attitudes toward alcohol, came a change in tolerance. I found it more difficult to enjoy it in moderation. I actually got surprised "drunk" once. It was that I could not get away with drinking the amount I used to. And then came the headaches and migraines over just one or two! And then I noticed that someone would spill the only one I had in front of me. And best yet---IT BEGAN TO TASTE LIKE GASOLINE!!! HALLELUJAH.
Do I believe these are birthing pains? Absolutely. I had no idea what was happening, and if you are not yet born of the Spirit, you do not know what you are missing.
The Bible talks so often about birth pains. This has more to do with end times and the birth pains of Israel and her disobedience. The beauty of the Bible, is that there is a running theme throughout. And these themes actually link situations to each other. Read Jeremiah and see how this all reads into end time prophesy of the book of Revelation, let alone Jesus words throughout the Gospels. Also, let it link you to the occurrence of disobedience as a believer. Back sliding believers. Actually, there are many themes here.
May you find comfort in my blog that a breakthrough is coming! Any time you are tested and tried, there is a breakthrough coming. Do you have any sin between you and God? Get on your knees and ask Him how to truly repent. Ask for revelation on how to do this. I didn't truly repent of my sins, I just felt guilty, all of my life. That is not enough. If you have sin between you and the Father, it can be the reason why you are not moving forward. That is not always the case. He may be just burning off the dross! Many of us were born again smack dab in the middle of our sinful lives, we just don't know how not to sin at that point. We try to do "better", and fail and fail. The message to capture here is that once you are born of the Spirit, you want to obey because it feels natural to obey a Father you know personally. You have an ongoing communication with Him, and you ask, He reveals. It will not feel so normal to sin. You won't feel captive of sinful natures. It you let Him work miracles in you, He will. It may be sweetly painful, but the Lord wants to begin and continue to make you who He always intended you to be! These words are true, and they are found in His Good Book! Read it daily! I beg you!! Blessings...
Matthew 24:8 All these are the beginning of birth pains.
Jeremiah 4:31 I hear a cry as of a woman in labor, a groan as of one bearing her first child--the cry of the Daughter of Zion gasping for breath, stretching out her hands and saying, "Alas! I am fainting............
Read the Book to understand these snippets of Scripture. Read the Book to know how to live in this sinful world. Read the Book to obtain a treasure called eternal life.
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