Praise and Glory to our Lord! What a great stretch of autumn weather. I hope you find this entry helpful in your journey towards a deeper relationship with Jesus. If you are like me, I was so relieved to find other Christians, who I thought were "on another level that I could not achieve", were really just a step or two ahead of me. And to have them admit to me that they were truly on a journey just like I was, was such a relief! Thank you to those co-workers who witnessed to me, and since our I Am Second Bible Study began in January of this year, they have shared items intimately to their course with the Lord that could only help others. Now, I am sharing intimately with you. It is worth all risks! I have my sister-in-Christ, Denise who is helping monitor my blog for emotional items that might hurt others, along with my boyfriend, Joe. I am so blessed with a handful of people that have sprinkled my life, that are true friends. We have been bound in Christ, and I have never experienced such joy, knowing people in this new realm. If you don't have these kinds of people in your circle, please find a way. Witness more, even if in subtle ways. Wear a religious piece of clothing or jewelry. Or if you are reading a good religious book, if they ask what you are reading, look at that as an open door to share the book's contents and why you are reading it. Don't lose those chances. And also, look at who you are spending your time with. If you only have so much free time to be social, why spend it where it is loud and always has to include alcohol? Try a coffee shop or your kitchen table. If those people don't conform to your new walk in Christ, you need to move on. If you are valued in their eyes, they will see you in the atmosphere of a quiet coffee shop. If they decline, there is the answer for you. It is painful. I have had great pain because of this. But, I have gained so many other friends. I have had women contact me on Facebook, women from my past. And I AM having coffee with them. And we ARE talking 80% of our valuable, limited social time about Jesus Christ. And it includes tears, usually. And we share our love for this awesome God! I have been blessed with this walk with the Lord which included loss of loved ones. In their season, they may be back. Or they may decide a quiet kitchen table is a fresh alternative to a loud restaurant/pub.
I mention that "Christianity Is The Door" because of an incredible "coincidence". Yes, we born agains and others who have a personal relationship with Christ have all kinds of collisions with items, sometimes on a daily basis. It is the Lord's way of showing us he is here, through the Holy Spirit.
For a number of months into my very fast paced awakening to the Holy Spirit, I was thinking of "the door". I told my coworker, that "I feel like I am almost ready to break through the door". It is so interesting. The author, John Eldredge (Please, please read his books if you have not. May I especially recommend The Sacred Romance?) had mentioned in his book "Waking The Dead", that Christianity IS the door. That concept completely makes sense. Someone put it into human terms. John is such an excellent author, using his love story type themes to help us understand this romantic relationship with Christ, that so many of us are missing!
What I believe he is trying to say, is that so many Christians are not opening the door. They are living out their church rituals, they are loving the easy to love, they are not swearing, they are not doing drugs, they are stating things like "my family founded our church" or "we got our church in this weekend". And the evil one is telling them that is enough. They are set. (John 3:16). So, they don't read their Bibles, they don't crave church services hungrily, they don't sit with their loved ones and discuss who in the community needs to hear the word of God and how are they going to accomplish getting His word out to more people.
I used to be a person, a Catholic person, that would "get my church in". I may have blogged this earlier, but one service I went to, I clocked it and it was 37 minutes. And some Catholics leave the church after they receive communion, so that person probably clocked in it at 29 minutes. In my opinion, in my old self, I figured I was getting the Bible read to me during the 1st and 2nd Readings and the Gospel reading, and also through the lyrics of the hymns. So in my world back then, I had it covered. I was missing out on so much.
I sat at work last week, in the early morning hour, and did my devotion. And then I felt compelled to sketch.
What I drew was the pit. And drew a stick figure (me). And I am in the pit. And then I drew an area between this and a door.
For years (oh my, can you believe years) I thought in my head and proclaimed to some loved ones that I felt like I was in a pit. But, I was nearly out of the pit. I just couldn't get out of the pit. My feet were dangling yet in the pit, but my hands were clawing, trying to get completely out.
It was an awful feeling. I felt somewhat relieved, because at least when I finally could put it into words (the pit), I realized the end was near. The dreadful, darkness times were soon to be over. A new start was ahead.
And then I started attending more hopeful churches. I started asking a ton of questions of those around me. I started loving more and complaining less. I started to take note of what I was really doing with my time and who I was doing it with. I started realizing what guilt and shame were doing to me. I started to read great books (The Shack, etc.). I moved my boys to Waterloo, to get a fresh start in a larger town with more opportunities and a bigger population of diverse people. I bought a big old house in a great neighborhood, with all kinds of people that were not all related to each other like in small towns. (That's just fine, unless you are the family that isn't related to anyone in the small town) I realized there was so much beyond the pit!
So what do you do when you are out of the pit? Well, I guess I was cruising and enjoying for a while. But, I was growing and didn't realize it!!! Everything I observed, I believe was preparing me for this intimate relationship. So, I kept on attending open Bible/born again type churches. I was listening, listening. And asking some deep questions of people.
And then, I began to realize there was another layer that was out there. I started to observe people that I thought were seeing a bigger picture. They had went through The Door. Now I realize that.
And I went through that door in July of 2011!!!! It was such a relief to proclaim that. But, I can also say that it took alot of tears and talking to God. And alot of altar placing. And now, continual self reflection and readjusting. And asking that Holy Spirit to please come into my presence when I feel he is far away. And as I told a loved one today, the moist eyes come then. And I have that wonderful feeling. And I know He is right there. We are through the door together. He doesn't want me to go too far from Him. He loves that I call him often. He loves that I jumped into his Fatherly arms in July. And I will never go to the pit again. I can't. He is holding me!!! Amen, Jesus. From, your lovely beloved daughter. Thank you for being there all along. Thank you for not giving up on me because of my worldly behaviors. Thank you for dying on the cross for us!
Revelation 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Psalm 40:2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set me fee on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Continuing with my child-like spirit. Sorry, world.
Praise to the Lord! I am sitting in front of my fireplace, enjoying a rainy evening safe and sound in my home with my son. He has given me time to read His word, blog and be with family and be still on a Sunday afternoon/evening. I have so much. How dare I ever complain?
Part of my day was reading Ecclesiastes. I did not absorb it at other times of my life, just like the rest of the Bible. I believe the Life Applications Bible has helped me immensely. I read that portion typically in addition to scripture. Like many parts of the Bible, you really have to be spiritually prepared to read it and understand it. And take it lightly if you do not yet understand it or are disturbed by what you read. You will some day understand it. I believe that.
Some of my posts are a little heavy and certainly I have so many ideas to blog about in the future that are light and enjoyable. I keep a running lists of topics for future blogs, and I get ideas throughout the day and night. Either in dreams, at my desk at work, at church or just doing daily tasks at home. The silence is golden and I make a point to have as little noise as possible when possible. Light music is so enjoyable compared to advertisers telling me what to buy or watch on the TV. And the content of the program in between the commercials is so often questionable. I have a 12 yr old at home and I am trying very hard to at least make my home a safe haven of sorts. The world out there is pretty rough. I have been condemned for "sheltering Ross too much". That is not true. It is my job to shelter him to some extent. He will have amble opportunity to find out for himself what is out there.
My house has no clocks that chime or tick tock. There is not 1-2 barking dogs. There is not 2-3 TV's on at once. There is not loud talking or yelling. If the TV is on and no one is watching it, I turn it off. I sometimes wonder if I was born to the right family because our home growing up was noisy and hectic. My uncle from Texas was an antique clock dealer and we had approximately 6 clocks that chimed or cuckoo'ed. I had four sisters but I preferred to play alone with my toys and pets. I just desired peace. I sought out peace. And it is a demand I have in my current home. I tell my kids and others that I will have a house of peace. Period. I have worked too hard to maintain peace. And now the Lord has given me such peace in my heart. Praise you Lord!
I had such a wonderful time as a kid, playing by myself. I loved to go to bed early and get up early. (extremely early). These habits have stayed with me. I used to set my alarm on Saturdays at 6am. I did this to watch Bugs Bunny cartoons. I taped with cassette the episodes. I would lay close to the console TV and record it, trying not to wake anyone up. I did this also to enjoy the classical and broadway music that accompanied the episodes. This interest in music later inspired me to play the piano with such passion. I just love good music. My mom seemed to notice my love for music that was not popular with most 8 year olds. So, when I asked for dance lessons, she said piano lessons. Thank you for that, mom! I still have every piece of sheet music that I ever played or owned since age 8. I am amazed at the selections I played at that early age. I remember mom calling my music teacher, or writing in my music diary the songs that she wanted me to play next. And my piano teacher would order the sheet music. I'd bring it home and play it. I had never heard of many of these songs. Mom would assist. She'd explain the dynamics. And that is cool, because the dynamics are spelled out for the musician on the sheets of paper, but to have someone stand beside you and explain where to play soft or loud or with what emotion is an experience. And it was my mother doing that.
I taught my mom to play piano. I tried to teach anyone that was interested how to play piano. I would put little kids that visited our house up to the piano and give them a lesson. I remember putting the cat and dogs paws on the keyboard or my dolls hands!
My mom insisted that she taught herself piano. We will leave it at that. I have the proof of the pencil marks on the sheet music of my instruction. Why she wouldn't just surrender and claim me as her teacher is beyond me. She was so talented and so determined. She would play hours a day and I would play 45 min. to 2 hours a day. My poor sister. The piano was in her bedroom!
My start with piano after the foiled dance lesson request included me walking 1/4 mile to my neighbors to play on their piano. Mom and dad said I needed to show them commitment before they would buy a piano. So, I walked or rode my bike up that steep hill and played on their very old and large upright grand. Elsie and Bud were the best neighbors anyone could have. And they had Pepsi and Snickers in the fridge for treats for us! What neat people and so loving. I never wanted to go home when I went to their house. Fried pork chops so often for supper.
It took approximately 9 months, if memory serves me right, for my commitment to shine through and now a piano would be available for me. It was a very large upright grand as well. I used to take it apart to experiment with the sound. I would take the lower panel off (large panel of wood just behind the pedals) and raise the top lid. I would take a flashlight and just study its parts. I actually messed with the stirrups and hammers at times if they acted up. I did this quite gingerly. It seemed to improve whatever the problem was.
Along with the piano and my musical interest was just a simple, fairy-like attitude. I loved to talk to the flowers and pets and toys. And if I played in the long grass in the grove, I would imagine such incredible journeys, laying in the grass, escaping tigers and bad guys. My doll, Drowsey was in tow. Baby Beans doll was lucky sometimes to get to come along.
I was quite the tree climber and tree house maker. I was making things all the time out of scrap wood and old junk. I was not afraid of heights, and I could out climb my sister. She would get so mad at me. I am now cautious of heights. I think the only thing that bugged me was jumping off of our shed. My ankles ached when they hit the ground.
We had a creek very near our house. Parts of it would freeze in the winter and we always had a pair of ice skates that fit. Ice Castles was a big movie then, and of course, this fairy would skate until her feet blistered, trying to remake the movie. Singing and skating. My ankles again hurt!
Oh, the joys of childhood. I am thankful for the most part that I was raised in the country. I missed my friends, especially in the summer, but your imagination really gets exercise as a kid in the country. It all seemed so big. The cottonwood trees, the barns, the distance from the tree house to the safety of our house.
I continued with this childlike spirit as an adult. An adult that has endured great pain. Through the pain, I remember really noticing the moon when I was approximately 26 years old. And the beauty of an inky black sky. And sunrises and sunsets. I vocally (to myself mostly) still comment on these miracles in nature, provided by our Creator. I just saw a dove like bird in a window near our stairway at work. I had just had a phone call that upset me and I was taking the steps down to the mail room. There was a gift from God. A lovely dove looking at me on 3rd floor. I said hi to it. And then I thanked God for that precious gift during a painful morning.
I will continue to be a fairy. I will enjoy talking to things that can't talk back to me. My cat, flowers, things I am taking photos of. I say hi to my house when I come home from work. I wave and say hi to my parents when I drive by Garden of Memories.
Why are you waiting to be a child in this harsh world? Everyone deserves a childhood. If you were not granted a fair shake at that as a youngster, start it now. Show your children how simple it is to be happy. How silly we can be. The Lord loves His children. He wants us to come to Him with a child-like faith. Please, enjoy while you are here. Enjoy the ride. Tell the world to wait!
Praise to our Lord and Savior! Praise to Him above all things. Let us enjoy these earthly things, but to remember, they are only on loan.
Part of my day was reading Ecclesiastes. I did not absorb it at other times of my life, just like the rest of the Bible. I believe the Life Applications Bible has helped me immensely. I read that portion typically in addition to scripture. Like many parts of the Bible, you really have to be spiritually prepared to read it and understand it. And take it lightly if you do not yet understand it or are disturbed by what you read. You will some day understand it. I believe that.
Some of my posts are a little heavy and certainly I have so many ideas to blog about in the future that are light and enjoyable. I keep a running lists of topics for future blogs, and I get ideas throughout the day and night. Either in dreams, at my desk at work, at church or just doing daily tasks at home. The silence is golden and I make a point to have as little noise as possible when possible. Light music is so enjoyable compared to advertisers telling me what to buy or watch on the TV. And the content of the program in between the commercials is so often questionable. I have a 12 yr old at home and I am trying very hard to at least make my home a safe haven of sorts. The world out there is pretty rough. I have been condemned for "sheltering Ross too much". That is not true. It is my job to shelter him to some extent. He will have amble opportunity to find out for himself what is out there.
My house has no clocks that chime or tick tock. There is not 1-2 barking dogs. There is not 2-3 TV's on at once. There is not loud talking or yelling. If the TV is on and no one is watching it, I turn it off. I sometimes wonder if I was born to the right family because our home growing up was noisy and hectic. My uncle from Texas was an antique clock dealer and we had approximately 6 clocks that chimed or cuckoo'ed. I had four sisters but I preferred to play alone with my toys and pets. I just desired peace. I sought out peace. And it is a demand I have in my current home. I tell my kids and others that I will have a house of peace. Period. I have worked too hard to maintain peace. And now the Lord has given me such peace in my heart. Praise you Lord!
I had such a wonderful time as a kid, playing by myself. I loved to go to bed early and get up early. (extremely early). These habits have stayed with me. I used to set my alarm on Saturdays at 6am. I did this to watch Bugs Bunny cartoons. I taped with cassette the episodes. I would lay close to the console TV and record it, trying not to wake anyone up. I did this also to enjoy the classical and broadway music that accompanied the episodes. This interest in music later inspired me to play the piano with such passion. I just love good music. My mom seemed to notice my love for music that was not popular with most 8 year olds. So, when I asked for dance lessons, she said piano lessons. Thank you for that, mom! I still have every piece of sheet music that I ever played or owned since age 8. I am amazed at the selections I played at that early age. I remember mom calling my music teacher, or writing in my music diary the songs that she wanted me to play next. And my piano teacher would order the sheet music. I'd bring it home and play it. I had never heard of many of these songs. Mom would assist. She'd explain the dynamics. And that is cool, because the dynamics are spelled out for the musician on the sheets of paper, but to have someone stand beside you and explain where to play soft or loud or with what emotion is an experience. And it was my mother doing that.
I taught my mom to play piano. I tried to teach anyone that was interested how to play piano. I would put little kids that visited our house up to the piano and give them a lesson. I remember putting the cat and dogs paws on the keyboard or my dolls hands!
My mom insisted that she taught herself piano. We will leave it at that. I have the proof of the pencil marks on the sheet music of my instruction. Why she wouldn't just surrender and claim me as her teacher is beyond me. She was so talented and so determined. She would play hours a day and I would play 45 min. to 2 hours a day. My poor sister. The piano was in her bedroom!
My start with piano after the foiled dance lesson request included me walking 1/4 mile to my neighbors to play on their piano. Mom and dad said I needed to show them commitment before they would buy a piano. So, I walked or rode my bike up that steep hill and played on their very old and large upright grand. Elsie and Bud were the best neighbors anyone could have. And they had Pepsi and Snickers in the fridge for treats for us! What neat people and so loving. I never wanted to go home when I went to their house. Fried pork chops so often for supper.
It took approximately 9 months, if memory serves me right, for my commitment to shine through and now a piano would be available for me. It was a very large upright grand as well. I used to take it apart to experiment with the sound. I would take the lower panel off (large panel of wood just behind the pedals) and raise the top lid. I would take a flashlight and just study its parts. I actually messed with the stirrups and hammers at times if they acted up. I did this quite gingerly. It seemed to improve whatever the problem was.
Along with the piano and my musical interest was just a simple, fairy-like attitude. I loved to talk to the flowers and pets and toys. And if I played in the long grass in the grove, I would imagine such incredible journeys, laying in the grass, escaping tigers and bad guys. My doll, Drowsey was in tow. Baby Beans doll was lucky sometimes to get to come along.
I was quite the tree climber and tree house maker. I was making things all the time out of scrap wood and old junk. I was not afraid of heights, and I could out climb my sister. She would get so mad at me. I am now cautious of heights. I think the only thing that bugged me was jumping off of our shed. My ankles ached when they hit the ground.
We had a creek very near our house. Parts of it would freeze in the winter and we always had a pair of ice skates that fit. Ice Castles was a big movie then, and of course, this fairy would skate until her feet blistered, trying to remake the movie. Singing and skating. My ankles again hurt!
Oh, the joys of childhood. I am thankful for the most part that I was raised in the country. I missed my friends, especially in the summer, but your imagination really gets exercise as a kid in the country. It all seemed so big. The cottonwood trees, the barns, the distance from the tree house to the safety of our house.
I continued with this childlike spirit as an adult. An adult that has endured great pain. Through the pain, I remember really noticing the moon when I was approximately 26 years old. And the beauty of an inky black sky. And sunrises and sunsets. I vocally (to myself mostly) still comment on these miracles in nature, provided by our Creator. I just saw a dove like bird in a window near our stairway at work. I had just had a phone call that upset me and I was taking the steps down to the mail room. There was a gift from God. A lovely dove looking at me on 3rd floor. I said hi to it. And then I thanked God for that precious gift during a painful morning.
I will continue to be a fairy. I will enjoy talking to things that can't talk back to me. My cat, flowers, things I am taking photos of. I say hi to my house when I come home from work. I wave and say hi to my parents when I drive by Garden of Memories.
Why are you waiting to be a child in this harsh world? Everyone deserves a childhood. If you were not granted a fair shake at that as a youngster, start it now. Show your children how simple it is to be happy. How silly we can be. The Lord loves His children. He wants us to come to Him with a child-like faith. Please, enjoy while you are here. Enjoy the ride. Tell the world to wait!
Praise to our Lord and Savior! Praise to Him above all things. Let us enjoy these earthly things, but to remember, they are only on loan.
No spellcheck, I will not capitalize the word satan!!
Praise and Glory to the Lord on this Sunday! I had a wonderful church experience at The Harvest Vineyard Church today. I am so thankful for so many open Bible/ personal relationship with Jesus churches! I have thrown out the religious rules and open my Bible for all truths and open it up regularly. It is really all we need for guidance, along with the Holy Spirit, who has graciously filled my being! Thank you Lord!
It just gets me. When I blog, I finally learned how to spellcheck and it wants me to capitalize satan. It doesn't tell me to do that with God. It also doesn't tell me to do that with the word Lord. Luckily, it tries to capitalize Jesus!! Praise for that!
So, again I am blogging about satan. I don't think we can quit talking about him. Him and his demons are roaming this earth, looking for every opportunity to destroy what Jesus came to earth to do. There are times when I know I have caught a glimpse of him. It makes me shutter. I truly believe what Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:6-11 state about spiritual gifts. I believe we all have gifts and mine I am learning about. Yes, I feel I can differentiate between spirits. And I know others that have shared the same. It is something we don't talk about much. And that is ok. It does bring fear into some people's hearts. You need to pray and be strong and constantly ask the Holy Spirit to cover and protect you. That is what I do. As I have said before, part of my faults of my past was that I feared satan more than God. I gave him that much power over me. I am tired of being a trembling idiot. So, I stand upright. I keep away from evil things. I am very careful about what I put into myself. God in, God out. That includes TV, music, art, who I am spending alot of time with, alcohol, negative people and actually, just discerning what my "insides" are telling me. I am getting very, very good at uncovering a "bad" feeling. If I have a bad feeling about something, I act on it.
Yes, satan has worked through me. He has worked through all of us. I have said horrible, ugly things about people I love. I have not been a good parent always. I have taken the easy road at times. I ignored reading the Word Of God just because I didn't want to reveal truths that would cause me to have to change my lifestyle. I have not attended church for periods of time in my life. I have not been a good witness at various times.
I have blogged previously about things I did as a child and adult that have invited evil into my life. And I am so glad to have asked for true forgiveness from the Lord. The risk in talking or blogging about these things is that the wrong people will give it glory. They will look at this as entertainment. No. It is serious. I only speak or type of these things to give glory to God. I don't particularly enjoy sharing about demons because I only want to speak about good things. But, too many people are getting involved in darkness and they don't even know it. I blog to share with you my experiences so that you may 1) come to know Jesus more fully due to my authentic relationship with Him as a new born again 2) you may realize some of the things you are doing are really damaging your relationship with the Lord and causing you to be distant from him 3) you may realize that some of these "myths" are really common truths. It is just that we are not sharing the important things. We are spending too much time watching a box, called a TV and we are assuming we are "saved" because we already believe John 3:16. You are missing it! There is so much more. Go deeper and deeper, people. Get on with the relationship He wants to have with you! He loves you and wants to be involved with you, step by step.
I believe if you are not diligent in your practices, your deepening your relationship with the Lord, only one being can step in and that is satan and his demons.
I give him no glory. He has robbed me in the past. He has made me scared. But, I tell you, when someone says something or does something evil, trace it back. You will find the absolute root is not in goodness. It is in evil and that comes from one place.
I have written in my journal specific instances when satan has involved himself in a circumstance. He has used someone else's mouth or hand or mind or even a look. And I am on to him. And when he uses me, I recognize it, repent to the person I wronged and ask God for forgiveness and more strength the next time. Praise God!
One thing I look for when I go to a new church now, or when I watch religious shows on TV, is I hope they bring up this crummy fella's name: satan. Let's call him out! Let's not be afraid to state that he uses our weaknesses to lie to us and assists us in sin.
If your church rarely brings him up in the sermon, I want you to think about that. If your church does not regularly remind you to open your Bibles outside of church, remind you of what everyday sin really is: gossip, negative attitudes, numbing yourself with alcohol or pain killers or drugs, not witnessing when you could be, sexual immortality, anything addictive or that causes you to put it before God, and what that really means: Well, I say I would just think and pray about that. We are again, as "religious", getting hung up on big sins vs. little sins. They are all the same. So: You are in the same category as the murderers! Yes, you are.
As I have heard other "believers" say: "I don't break the commandments, I don't kill people, I don't commit adultery, etc.
Remember: the most powerful people satan uses are ..........Christians!
Amen. Lord please guide me and all who read these words. We give You all the glory. Love you Abba Father!
It just gets me. When I blog, I finally learned how to spellcheck and it wants me to capitalize satan. It doesn't tell me to do that with God. It also doesn't tell me to do that with the word Lord. Luckily, it tries to capitalize Jesus!! Praise for that!
So, again I am blogging about satan. I don't think we can quit talking about him. Him and his demons are roaming this earth, looking for every opportunity to destroy what Jesus came to earth to do. There are times when I know I have caught a glimpse of him. It makes me shutter. I truly believe what Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:6-11 state about spiritual gifts. I believe we all have gifts and mine I am learning about. Yes, I feel I can differentiate between spirits. And I know others that have shared the same. It is something we don't talk about much. And that is ok. It does bring fear into some people's hearts. You need to pray and be strong and constantly ask the Holy Spirit to cover and protect you. That is what I do. As I have said before, part of my faults of my past was that I feared satan more than God. I gave him that much power over me. I am tired of being a trembling idiot. So, I stand upright. I keep away from evil things. I am very careful about what I put into myself. God in, God out. That includes TV, music, art, who I am spending alot of time with, alcohol, negative people and actually, just discerning what my "insides" are telling me. I am getting very, very good at uncovering a "bad" feeling. If I have a bad feeling about something, I act on it.
Yes, satan has worked through me. He has worked through all of us. I have said horrible, ugly things about people I love. I have not been a good parent always. I have taken the easy road at times. I ignored reading the Word Of God just because I didn't want to reveal truths that would cause me to have to change my lifestyle. I have not attended church for periods of time in my life. I have not been a good witness at various times.
I have blogged previously about things I did as a child and adult that have invited evil into my life. And I am so glad to have asked for true forgiveness from the Lord. The risk in talking or blogging about these things is that the wrong people will give it glory. They will look at this as entertainment. No. It is serious. I only speak or type of these things to give glory to God. I don't particularly enjoy sharing about demons because I only want to speak about good things. But, too many people are getting involved in darkness and they don't even know it. I blog to share with you my experiences so that you may 1) come to know Jesus more fully due to my authentic relationship with Him as a new born again 2) you may realize some of the things you are doing are really damaging your relationship with the Lord and causing you to be distant from him 3) you may realize that some of these "myths" are really common truths. It is just that we are not sharing the important things. We are spending too much time watching a box, called a TV and we are assuming we are "saved" because we already believe John 3:16. You are missing it! There is so much more. Go deeper and deeper, people. Get on with the relationship He wants to have with you! He loves you and wants to be involved with you, step by step.
I believe if you are not diligent in your practices, your deepening your relationship with the Lord, only one being can step in and that is satan and his demons.
I give him no glory. He has robbed me in the past. He has made me scared. But, I tell you, when someone says something or does something evil, trace it back. You will find the absolute root is not in goodness. It is in evil and that comes from one place.
I have written in my journal specific instances when satan has involved himself in a circumstance. He has used someone else's mouth or hand or mind or even a look. And I am on to him. And when he uses me, I recognize it, repent to the person I wronged and ask God for forgiveness and more strength the next time. Praise God!
One thing I look for when I go to a new church now, or when I watch religious shows on TV, is I hope they bring up this crummy fella's name: satan. Let's call him out! Let's not be afraid to state that he uses our weaknesses to lie to us and assists us in sin.
If your church rarely brings him up in the sermon, I want you to think about that. If your church does not regularly remind you to open your Bibles outside of church, remind you of what everyday sin really is: gossip, negative attitudes, numbing yourself with alcohol or pain killers or drugs, not witnessing when you could be, sexual immortality, anything addictive or that causes you to put it before God, and what that really means: Well, I say I would just think and pray about that. We are again, as "religious", getting hung up on big sins vs. little sins. They are all the same. So: You are in the same category as the murderers! Yes, you are.
As I have heard other "believers" say: "I don't break the commandments, I don't kill people, I don't commit adultery, etc.
Remember: the most powerful people satan uses are ..........Christians!
Amen. Lord please guide me and all who read these words. We give You all the glory. Love you Abba Father!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
The Root Of Anxiety. A pill won't cure it.
Praise to you! It is again a beautiful fall weekend. Worship tomorrow for me and I am looking forward to that. May I again state that I pray that God will bless my typed words. This is all to glorify Him and to help others gain freedom from the earthly things that have stalled, halted and blocked the Holy Spirit from completely entering into their being. I am so happy to say that I truly have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ now and please if you are not sure if you do, please ask him to assist you to enter into that! My life now has such rich meaning and I sure smile alot more!
In my journey, especially the last 10 months, I have become quite the writer. I have shared before in my blog, my love for writing during my daily devotion. These are simply love letters to the Lord. (and some love letters to very important people in my life!) In my journal, I have also made lists of sorts. All kinds of lists. I will share in a future blog the lies of alcohol and how it has snuck up on me a few times in my life.
One of the lists I wanted to put on paper and face finally was my childhood fears. You may say you had all kinds of fears as a child and that they are normal. And yes, they are. Our fear of the dark, our fear of strangers, etc. I knew as a child my anxieties were way out of whack. And as an adult, I tried to hide them. And then came the panic attacks. My anxieties as a child, as far back as I can remember actually caused me to be ill. I won't go into detail because I don't think you need to know every detail about me, but it really hindered my sleep and my ability to relax to name a few things.
Here is my list of fears as a child: Tornadoes, trees falling on our house during high wind, babysitting in other peoples homes, fear of our own home growing up, aliens, Big Foot, being in a boat, being home alone, ghosts, fear of our neighbor man, fear of men and boys, fear of our basement, fear of foods such as liver, eggplant and mushrooms, snakes, dogs and cows.
What a list! The problem is: alot of these fears didn't subside much as a teenager or young adult. And I developed heart palpitations at age 20. That was when a physician talked to me about anxiety. And it took me 23 years to really understand where that anxiety was coming from.
Now I can say that my anxiety as an adult was an accumulation of guilt and anger. Maybe counselors and physicians have been telling me that for years. I don't think I was a very good listener if they did! As an adult, I was 1) not completely walking in the light and 2) had not forgave those who had wronged me. It added up to a pile. And guilt and anger will rob you, as me, of freedom. It will continue to pile up. And please, if you have someone in your past to forgive, find a way to do it. Maybe even just ask the Lord to scan your life for you. We have blinders on. We even forget how much we have hated someone if we have done it for years. We just look at it as a deserved behavior. "I have the right to hate that person. They sexually abused me". No, you don't have the right to hate someone even for that kind of wicked crime. Ask me. You can't believe the crimes that have been committed against me and my loved ones. Anything and everything is forgivable. Amen, Lord. Thank you for giving me your love on the cross. I will praise You!
If I can, I would like to expand on my particular childhood fears. You may not understand a fear of food. I can specifically remember seeing the eggplant on the counter or hear the rumor from my sisters that we were having liver for supper, and feeling actually sick all day about it. It would ruin my day. I would obsessively think about it and how I was going to get through supper. And then I knew I would be forced to eat it. That is what some parents did back then. I tried to also make my two older kids "take a bite" of food they didn't like. And Ben vomited up that tiny bite of squash. And then, I decided, really, is it worth it? If I can convince them to try different foods, great, but if they are freaking out about it, jeez, move on and throw that bite of food down the drain!
I also watched In Search Of. And that show got me scared! That is where I believe I became so scared of Big Foot and aliens.
I believe I have a personality that obsesses about things and this includes things I fear. So as a child, I believe I had a predisposition to anxiety type behavior. Just like people have a predisposition to other disorders. But, how you handle your feelings is another matter. How about putting faith into your fears? Yes, I prayed, I read the Bible. But, I didn't trust the Lord completely apparently.
I believe my journaling has helped me to expose these truths about me. I was ready to move forward on so many elements this past year or so.
To be free from satan and his tricks, you have to expose him. And I have decided I have wasted enough of my life letting him tell me lies. My fears have filled my head so much that the Holy Spirit had a hard time getting through all that muck. And that is the hope of satan. So, journaling has put these fears concrete in front of me. It also has helped me to express them to others more freely. You can't imagine the responses. Most people are relieved to hear that they are normal. That we all pretty much are sharing the same story here on earth. We just aren't being authentic with each other, making us think everyone else has it so much better or everyone else has got it together. So far from the truth.
So, there is my anxiety for you. It is a healthy anxiety now. It is a fight or fright natural mechanism. Yes, I freak out a little here and there from icy roads and I hate emptying the mouse trap and repeat certain phrases over and over again to assist me in scary times. But, I am not medicating myself in any way, shape or form to help this anxiety. And I feel as calm as I have ever in my life, without medication. I put my trust in the Lord finally. I have surrendered to him. I am ready for anything.
I have seen the pharmaceutical commercials and magazine ads to "own your disease." These ads are for either pain or psychological type diseases. This is really getting out of hand. I have bought into it many times. Yes, these drugs are helpful. If I didn't watch TV or pick up a magazine to see this ad, I may have not known that I may suffer from this disease or that. But, going from the ADHD craze (yes, many kids need this medicine), it had scores of parents screen their kids for it, some parents sure their kids needed this medicine. I think some parents would have been relieved if someone could offer a pill to make their youngster sit still more and behave. I certainly would have liked that as well. They may have even been a little disappointed to hear that their child did not have ADHD. Now, they had to come up with another plan. A harder plan.
Do you believe that the Lord can heal you? Truly heal you? Especially in matters of subjective medicine. Psychological disorders: Eating disorders, alcohol and drug addiction, tobacco addiction, chronic pain, panic attacks, depression, OCD? Please ask the Lord to help you examine the ROOT of your problem. He would love to help you! And then you can glorify Him! And share with others your victory! He wants to give you victories! Please, I ask you to lean on him even when the doctor wants you to take a pill for "it". I am living proof of someone who has been prescribed medication after medication and all I needed to do was be patient, pray, surrender and TRUST. And I will continue to work hard on my "disorders" and not let the lies of the world (satan) keep me enslaved to them. I bet if you told your doctor you want to be in the drivers seat, you want to get off of that medicine, you are praying and hey, maybe he can pray with you as well, that the Lord can give you the power to overcome. AMEN!!! Give it a shot! All with the help of the Holy Spirit's guidance. Praise God for his gift of awakening me!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
In my journey, especially the last 10 months, I have become quite the writer. I have shared before in my blog, my love for writing during my daily devotion. These are simply love letters to the Lord. (and some love letters to very important people in my life!) In my journal, I have also made lists of sorts. All kinds of lists. I will share in a future blog the lies of alcohol and how it has snuck up on me a few times in my life.
One of the lists I wanted to put on paper and face finally was my childhood fears. You may say you had all kinds of fears as a child and that they are normal. And yes, they are. Our fear of the dark, our fear of strangers, etc. I knew as a child my anxieties were way out of whack. And as an adult, I tried to hide them. And then came the panic attacks. My anxieties as a child, as far back as I can remember actually caused me to be ill. I won't go into detail because I don't think you need to know every detail about me, but it really hindered my sleep and my ability to relax to name a few things.
Here is my list of fears as a child: Tornadoes, trees falling on our house during high wind, babysitting in other peoples homes, fear of our own home growing up, aliens, Big Foot, being in a boat, being home alone, ghosts, fear of our neighbor man, fear of men and boys, fear of our basement, fear of foods such as liver, eggplant and mushrooms, snakes, dogs and cows.
What a list! The problem is: alot of these fears didn't subside much as a teenager or young adult. And I developed heart palpitations at age 20. That was when a physician talked to me about anxiety. And it took me 23 years to really understand where that anxiety was coming from.
Now I can say that my anxiety as an adult was an accumulation of guilt and anger. Maybe counselors and physicians have been telling me that for years. I don't think I was a very good listener if they did! As an adult, I was 1) not completely walking in the light and 2) had not forgave those who had wronged me. It added up to a pile. And guilt and anger will rob you, as me, of freedom. It will continue to pile up. And please, if you have someone in your past to forgive, find a way to do it. Maybe even just ask the Lord to scan your life for you. We have blinders on. We even forget how much we have hated someone if we have done it for years. We just look at it as a deserved behavior. "I have the right to hate that person. They sexually abused me". No, you don't have the right to hate someone even for that kind of wicked crime. Ask me. You can't believe the crimes that have been committed against me and my loved ones. Anything and everything is forgivable. Amen, Lord. Thank you for giving me your love on the cross. I will praise You!
If I can, I would like to expand on my particular childhood fears. You may not understand a fear of food. I can specifically remember seeing the eggplant on the counter or hear the rumor from my sisters that we were having liver for supper, and feeling actually sick all day about it. It would ruin my day. I would obsessively think about it and how I was going to get through supper. And then I knew I would be forced to eat it. That is what some parents did back then. I tried to also make my two older kids "take a bite" of food they didn't like. And Ben vomited up that tiny bite of squash. And then, I decided, really, is it worth it? If I can convince them to try different foods, great, but if they are freaking out about it, jeez, move on and throw that bite of food down the drain!
I also watched In Search Of. And that show got me scared! That is where I believe I became so scared of Big Foot and aliens.
I believe I have a personality that obsesses about things and this includes things I fear. So as a child, I believe I had a predisposition to anxiety type behavior. Just like people have a predisposition to other disorders. But, how you handle your feelings is another matter. How about putting faith into your fears? Yes, I prayed, I read the Bible. But, I didn't trust the Lord completely apparently.
I believe my journaling has helped me to expose these truths about me. I was ready to move forward on so many elements this past year or so.
To be free from satan and his tricks, you have to expose him. And I have decided I have wasted enough of my life letting him tell me lies. My fears have filled my head so much that the Holy Spirit had a hard time getting through all that muck. And that is the hope of satan. So, journaling has put these fears concrete in front of me. It also has helped me to express them to others more freely. You can't imagine the responses. Most people are relieved to hear that they are normal. That we all pretty much are sharing the same story here on earth. We just aren't being authentic with each other, making us think everyone else has it so much better or everyone else has got it together. So far from the truth.
So, there is my anxiety for you. It is a healthy anxiety now. It is a fight or fright natural mechanism. Yes, I freak out a little here and there from icy roads and I hate emptying the mouse trap and repeat certain phrases over and over again to assist me in scary times. But, I am not medicating myself in any way, shape or form to help this anxiety. And I feel as calm as I have ever in my life, without medication. I put my trust in the Lord finally. I have surrendered to him. I am ready for anything.
I have seen the pharmaceutical commercials and magazine ads to "own your disease." These ads are for either pain or psychological type diseases. This is really getting out of hand. I have bought into it many times. Yes, these drugs are helpful. If I didn't watch TV or pick up a magazine to see this ad, I may have not known that I may suffer from this disease or that. But, going from the ADHD craze (yes, many kids need this medicine), it had scores of parents screen their kids for it, some parents sure their kids needed this medicine. I think some parents would have been relieved if someone could offer a pill to make their youngster sit still more and behave. I certainly would have liked that as well. They may have even been a little disappointed to hear that their child did not have ADHD. Now, they had to come up with another plan. A harder plan.
Do you believe that the Lord can heal you? Truly heal you? Especially in matters of subjective medicine. Psychological disorders: Eating disorders, alcohol and drug addiction, tobacco addiction, chronic pain, panic attacks, depression, OCD? Please ask the Lord to help you examine the ROOT of your problem. He would love to help you! And then you can glorify Him! And share with others your victory! He wants to give you victories! Please, I ask you to lean on him even when the doctor wants you to take a pill for "it". I am living proof of someone who has been prescribed medication after medication and all I needed to do was be patient, pray, surrender and TRUST. And I will continue to work hard on my "disorders" and not let the lies of the world (satan) keep me enslaved to them. I bet if you told your doctor you want to be in the drivers seat, you want to get off of that medicine, you are praying and hey, maybe he can pray with you as well, that the Lord can give you the power to overcome. AMEN!!! Give it a shot! All with the help of the Holy Spirit's guidance. Praise God for his gift of awakening me!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Dollar Menu Brats
Praise! I just finished reading out of Isaiah (and other easier reads from the Bible). I am working towards my One year Bible reading adventure. I made a deal with myself to read from the Bible before blogging in an attempt to be sincere and free from the world's imprint on me, at least for that period of time before blogging. And, it appears I will finish that Bible cover to cover some time in the next year to year and a half. I am going to do it out of love and respect for those precious words. I am ready to read what was God inspired and face it. Not because I feel I have to. No more of that standard religious check mark system for me.
I sit here on a September day with a fire in the fireplace. It is Sunday and after such a busy week and weekend I decided to not leave the house now that church and Ross' football game are over. I am going to read and cook and blog and spend a lot of time with Ross and the Lord. Amen.
Sitting here with a fire in the fireplace seems like a luxury. Other people would not say that. It would be a necessity. Actually, my fireplace uses wood and it sucks the heat up the chimney and wastes. But for that little bit of heat I factor out the ambiance of it all and relaxation it provides for the household. It calms us. That smell of the wood and the crackle. I think it does do alot more than waste my natural gas.
One day I thought about it and realized I could probably feed Ross and I with Dollar Menu items. Every meal. I figure we could eat for $14.00 a day that way. Isn't that insane? If you think about it, we have maids and butlers who serve us hot, fresh food every day. We only see their laboring through the drive thru window. We could get rid of our freezers and stoves and just bring home a hot meal, every meal, and never shop for the grocery items, refrigerate the grocery item, prepare and cook the grocery item. And guess what? If we ate it in the restaurant, we could avoid the water to wash the dishes. And cancel the garbage man. We wouldn't have any garbage to throw out. We could leave that plastic straw and hamburger wrapper at the McDonald's!
I am a deep thinker and no, you will not have to excuse me for that. I think all of the time and think controversial things. I think about things that others don't expand on in their heads. This drive thru diet came to me because I have been confused about the population that includes my adult children. They work crazy hours. They don't have 403B plans. They are slaves to 2-3 jobs. They work mostly in food service jobs. They are on their feet all the time. They go to work usually late in the day and get home a few hours before I get up. They sleep until 1pm. No wonder. We are all to blame for this.
They don't cook much for themselves. They don't buy houses, they rent. They live for today. They are committed to their cell phone contracts. They don't get married, they live together first. They are afraid of divorce because the generation before them divorced more than any time in history. That includes me and many people I know. These kids were watching us.
I was relieved to do deep thinking about the 20-30 year olds because it helped me appreciate them. They don't obsess about their future. They don't seem to worship a job they don't like. They move on to something that fits them better. They don't count their money and check the stock market all the time. They change churches from their parents churches. They are vocal to their parents and authority figures and are comfortable about expressing themselves.
Why do I blog this? I think we need to think about these things. We are spending so much time in front of our televisions. We are watching other peoples reality on TV and not digging down deep into our own families. We are not talking about our family history or setting up healthy traditions. We are not talking in the car, we have the radio on. We are not praying for each other. We are so darn afraid to point out what our loved ones are doing to tragically ruin their lives.
It helped me to put together the Dollar Menu story in my noggin because it helped me understand my adult children. Am I going to eat fast food still? Yes. Is it easy and cheap? Yes. Is it healthy? No. But, because most Walmarts, Walgreens and restaurants are now open very late or open 24 hours a day, there is a massive employment opportunity for corporate America. And it is our children that are working there. And they are not experiencing commitment to an employer or a taste of a career. How can they get to church if they are working these crazy hours? How can they commit to a Wednesday Bible study when their employer has them by the tail? How can they believe that there is a ladder to success if they are in a position that there is no "up"? Yes, they can go to school and many of them do. But, part time school takes a long time. And many of these kids are years into debt now. They didn't get to college right away and finish on time.
We are just brats. I decided I was a true brat when I returned from a family wedding in Mexico. I spent alot of money to go there. And it was fabulous. We had fine dining all day, any time you wanted it. Buffets all day. Steak, European cuisine, finest desserts. We had bars everywhere, top shelf alcohol. Any drink you wanted, you got it. Any time. You had a bar in your hotel room. Stocked. A swim up bar in the pool. It was insane. But, in my head I figured if I paid that amount of money for this all inclusive, I deserved it. I also believed that the economy thrives on us tourist. And without us, they would not be employed.
And then I came home. And I thought about it. I felt guilty. On top of it, my reading includes Christian authors who are warning us that we are missing the entire point of the Gospel. That we Americans are buying everything in sight, still not happy, and not spreading the good news of Jesus around the world. We already are spending our money on other things, so how can we spend money on mission trips or buy Bibles for prisons. Are we tithing? Or would it be like I discovered of myself: Why am I going to luxury resorts when I could be trying to live a little more realistic?
I do not regret the trip to Mexico. The ocean is so beautiful there. I spent time with family. I didn't over indulge in either drink or food. I read three books and relaxed on the beach. I talked to God. I cried to Him when I looked into the ocean. I praised him for the incredible sunset on my last day there. I think the Lord opened my eyes to a new level. I saw that the more food and drink I shoved down my throat, the more selfish I got. He showed me that most of us cannot handle that type of wealth or special treatment. We just get more hungry for more. At this point in my spiritual journey, I decided if I vacationed in a beautiful part of the world again, I would buy my groceries at their Walmart, enjoy the ocean for a bargain price at hotel chain that requires me to put my own napkin in my lap. And walk a ways to get to a beach chair that may have already been spoken for.
I knew the Holy Spirit was with me when I gave in to the devil. I was in Dallas-Fort Worth airport, arriving from Mexico on the way home and we missed our flight to Cedar Rapids. It was not our fault. I ran the entire way to the gate (I suffer from asthma as well) and the plane was still there, but they would not let us board it. I was out of breath and really missing Ross. I knew now it would be 11pm before I saw him, and that was if the next flight left on time. I had a "discussion" with the American Airlines attendant at the gate. And I was really getting mad. And then I walked away. And there she was again when I went somewhere else to complain. And I gave it to her again. And then I used the Lord's name in vain. Boy, the devil got me there, didn't he. This born again Christian was arguing a little too loud in the airport and then, she says "Jesus Christ". And I shut up instantly. I knew the trap I just walked into. I instantly knew what had happened. I was being a brat and gave into Satan's delight. She didn't have to make it right that the previous aircraft held us on board after landing for 25 minutes without recording it, making our connection impossible, and giving her no concrete information on why we didn't get to this terminal on time. Set-ups and traps by Satan. Another blog to be published. Just wait for that. I actually document his traps he sets for me! And I learn of his trickery. And I am getting wiser and wiser.
If any of you know me well, you will know that I have said since gambling was legal in Iowa that I never wanted to win the lottery. I rarely buy any lottery tickets. I only go to the casino once or twice a year to gamble. I don't want to win. I don't want to be instantly rich. I want to keep steady with the plan. I would assume that almost 100% of people who encounter instant wealth will put their soul in jeopardy. And will not have a true friend. And those that encounter slow, gaining wealth will encounter the same problems. It just sneaks up on you. Just like most earthly things. We just aren't capable of being spoiled. Only our glorious Father should be spoiling us. With open arms. With praise for our obeying Him. With treasures in heaven. With a relationship that is not possible with humans, only with Him.
I sit here on a September day with a fire in the fireplace. It is Sunday and after such a busy week and weekend I decided to not leave the house now that church and Ross' football game are over. I am going to read and cook and blog and spend a lot of time with Ross and the Lord. Amen.
Sitting here with a fire in the fireplace seems like a luxury. Other people would not say that. It would be a necessity. Actually, my fireplace uses wood and it sucks the heat up the chimney and wastes. But for that little bit of heat I factor out the ambiance of it all and relaxation it provides for the household. It calms us. That smell of the wood and the crackle. I think it does do alot more than waste my natural gas.
One day I thought about it and realized I could probably feed Ross and I with Dollar Menu items. Every meal. I figure we could eat for $14.00 a day that way. Isn't that insane? If you think about it, we have maids and butlers who serve us hot, fresh food every day. We only see their laboring through the drive thru window. We could get rid of our freezers and stoves and just bring home a hot meal, every meal, and never shop for the grocery items, refrigerate the grocery item, prepare and cook the grocery item. And guess what? If we ate it in the restaurant, we could avoid the water to wash the dishes. And cancel the garbage man. We wouldn't have any garbage to throw out. We could leave that plastic straw and hamburger wrapper at the McDonald's!
I am a deep thinker and no, you will not have to excuse me for that. I think all of the time and think controversial things. I think about things that others don't expand on in their heads. This drive thru diet came to me because I have been confused about the population that includes my adult children. They work crazy hours. They don't have 403B plans. They are slaves to 2-3 jobs. They work mostly in food service jobs. They are on their feet all the time. They go to work usually late in the day and get home a few hours before I get up. They sleep until 1pm. No wonder. We are all to blame for this.
They don't cook much for themselves. They don't buy houses, they rent. They live for today. They are committed to their cell phone contracts. They don't get married, they live together first. They are afraid of divorce because the generation before them divorced more than any time in history. That includes me and many people I know. These kids were watching us.
I was relieved to do deep thinking about the 20-30 year olds because it helped me appreciate them. They don't obsess about their future. They don't seem to worship a job they don't like. They move on to something that fits them better. They don't count their money and check the stock market all the time. They change churches from their parents churches. They are vocal to their parents and authority figures and are comfortable about expressing themselves.
Why do I blog this? I think we need to think about these things. We are spending so much time in front of our televisions. We are watching other peoples reality on TV and not digging down deep into our own families. We are not talking about our family history or setting up healthy traditions. We are not talking in the car, we have the radio on. We are not praying for each other. We are so darn afraid to point out what our loved ones are doing to tragically ruin their lives.
It helped me to put together the Dollar Menu story in my noggin because it helped me understand my adult children. Am I going to eat fast food still? Yes. Is it easy and cheap? Yes. Is it healthy? No. But, because most Walmarts, Walgreens and restaurants are now open very late or open 24 hours a day, there is a massive employment opportunity for corporate America. And it is our children that are working there. And they are not experiencing commitment to an employer or a taste of a career. How can they get to church if they are working these crazy hours? How can they commit to a Wednesday Bible study when their employer has them by the tail? How can they believe that there is a ladder to success if they are in a position that there is no "up"? Yes, they can go to school and many of them do. But, part time school takes a long time. And many of these kids are years into debt now. They didn't get to college right away and finish on time.
We are just brats. I decided I was a true brat when I returned from a family wedding in Mexico. I spent alot of money to go there. And it was fabulous. We had fine dining all day, any time you wanted it. Buffets all day. Steak, European cuisine, finest desserts. We had bars everywhere, top shelf alcohol. Any drink you wanted, you got it. Any time. You had a bar in your hotel room. Stocked. A swim up bar in the pool. It was insane. But, in my head I figured if I paid that amount of money for this all inclusive, I deserved it. I also believed that the economy thrives on us tourist. And without us, they would not be employed.
And then I came home. And I thought about it. I felt guilty. On top of it, my reading includes Christian authors who are warning us that we are missing the entire point of the Gospel. That we Americans are buying everything in sight, still not happy, and not spreading the good news of Jesus around the world. We already are spending our money on other things, so how can we spend money on mission trips or buy Bibles for prisons. Are we tithing? Or would it be like I discovered of myself: Why am I going to luxury resorts when I could be trying to live a little more realistic?
I do not regret the trip to Mexico. The ocean is so beautiful there. I spent time with family. I didn't over indulge in either drink or food. I read three books and relaxed on the beach. I talked to God. I cried to Him when I looked into the ocean. I praised him for the incredible sunset on my last day there. I think the Lord opened my eyes to a new level. I saw that the more food and drink I shoved down my throat, the more selfish I got. He showed me that most of us cannot handle that type of wealth or special treatment. We just get more hungry for more. At this point in my spiritual journey, I decided if I vacationed in a beautiful part of the world again, I would buy my groceries at their Walmart, enjoy the ocean for a bargain price at hotel chain that requires me to put my own napkin in my lap. And walk a ways to get to a beach chair that may have already been spoken for.
I knew the Holy Spirit was with me when I gave in to the devil. I was in Dallas-Fort Worth airport, arriving from Mexico on the way home and we missed our flight to Cedar Rapids. It was not our fault. I ran the entire way to the gate (I suffer from asthma as well) and the plane was still there, but they would not let us board it. I was out of breath and really missing Ross. I knew now it would be 11pm before I saw him, and that was if the next flight left on time. I had a "discussion" with the American Airlines attendant at the gate. And I was really getting mad. And then I walked away. And there she was again when I went somewhere else to complain. And I gave it to her again. And then I used the Lord's name in vain. Boy, the devil got me there, didn't he. This born again Christian was arguing a little too loud in the airport and then, she says "Jesus Christ". And I shut up instantly. I knew the trap I just walked into. I instantly knew what had happened. I was being a brat and gave into Satan's delight. She didn't have to make it right that the previous aircraft held us on board after landing for 25 minutes without recording it, making our connection impossible, and giving her no concrete information on why we didn't get to this terminal on time. Set-ups and traps by Satan. Another blog to be published. Just wait for that. I actually document his traps he sets for me! And I learn of his trickery. And I am getting wiser and wiser.
If any of you know me well, you will know that I have said since gambling was legal in Iowa that I never wanted to win the lottery. I rarely buy any lottery tickets. I only go to the casino once or twice a year to gamble. I don't want to win. I don't want to be instantly rich. I want to keep steady with the plan. I would assume that almost 100% of people who encounter instant wealth will put their soul in jeopardy. And will not have a true friend. And those that encounter slow, gaining wealth will encounter the same problems. It just sneaks up on you. Just like most earthly things. We just aren't capable of being spoiled. Only our glorious Father should be spoiling us. With open arms. With praise for our obeying Him. With treasures in heaven. With a relationship that is not possible with humans, only with Him.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Even Minnesota Catholic Ladies Are Spiritual!
Blessings to you from Minnesota! I am here visiting my son Ben, who is in college, and Ross and I are in the hotel, relaxing.
It has been a great way to start a trip, pulling away from McDonald's in Waterloo with our breakfasts, I grab Ross' hands and we pray quick for a safe trip. A direct, sincere prayer to our Lord to look after us. And then we were off. I like my new life in Christ this way! Lots of prayer. And my kids seem to be absorbing all of this. Praise you Lord! Bless my children and grandchildren. I am now determined to be a walking-in-Jesus-skin- person (so they say at church).
Being in Minnesota is interesting when you have lived here before. I moved here in 1998. I lived in a quaint, tourist town called Lanesboro. What a delight. Bicycle trails and small town living. And I mean small town. If you needed a pair of shoes or a birthday gift last minute, forget it. And if it was an icy or snowy winter, you didn't get out of town for days. Rochester was the nearest town of much significance, and that was 55 minutes away. I raised some eyebrows when I would go to Cresco or Decorah (Oh, they just don't like Iowa like they like Minnesota up here) to get my groceries at Fareway or Walmart.
With so many wonderful things about this town of Lanesboro was also the church suppers and community activities. The churches really provide social time, along with worship. I so looked forward to coffee after church (I was a stay at home mom for the time I lived up north). I also had some moms that I met for coffee (with our babies along). I did also participate in a multi-church sponsored Bible study. We studied Ecclesiastes.
One thing I especially loved was our Catholic church. It was on a high hill. It was St. Patricks. And Father Tom was the most awesome priest I had yet met. I had just become Catholic a few months before we moved up north. And this priest was around my age. He stated he was a garbage truck driver prior. He states he was the hyper type (like me). And he never had silence around him to be able to think straight, let alone let the Holy Spirit try to have a conversation with him. But one day his radio broke in his garbage truck. And God gave him a clear message in that truck that day that he needed to join the religious life. Boom. And that is the journey he set out on. Under orders. Loving orders. (Yes, we can always have free choice).
Father Tom had supper at our house a few times. Unfortunately, he had a horrible cat allergy. So, I would clean, clean before he came and he would take a Benadryl. But, he would have to leave after about a good hour, maybe hour and a half. Father Tom also baptized my Ross. I cried, it was such a great time in my life. I had another miracle child to enjoy in my life. Three wonderful gifts of children for me. I am so fortunate to have them in my life.
Along with Father Tom (who related well with my older two children--he was so "cool" with the teens and adolescents), I had a few ladies at church that shared very intimate spiritual things with me. I can't say how lucky I have been in my life to have had people share "religious" things with me. Things that sometimes you know if you share with the wrong person, they will simply assume you are a little crackers.
Rose was one person that shared with me. She was a seasoned lady, very wise. She was in her 70's. She invited me over for coffee. She belonged to our Catholic church. She was a widow. I believe she personally blessed my Ross the day he was baptized. She was extremely spiritual and what a relief to find someone else like me in this way. Maybe that is why she was comfortable sharing. This is her story: One Sunday she took communion. And she took the bread and wine as she did every Sunday. And you can trust this woman was as Godly as they come. She stated that on one instance, the wine truly was consecrated for her. It did not taste of grapes, but of blood. She said it was a beautiful gift to have that happen to her. She felt safe in sharing that with me!
Another lady, (I am embarraced, I don't remember her name off the bat), was such a colorful person. Beautiful 70 year old or so. She wore hats to church. Fancy hats. Now, remember this is a town of 600, and this town of 600 had about 5 churches, so that means only about 50 people went to our church. She told me once that in the altar area of the church, one Sunday it was filled with heavenly angels for her eyes only. She was just in awe of it. She felt safe enough to share that with me as well. And I only lived there for 2 years! What joy for me.
I am aware that my posts may point to opinions about different types of churches. I really want to stay away from that. At the time of a large conversion in my spiritual life, I happened to be going through a 7 month intense Catholic RCIA program. We had one sponsor there that spoke prayers, almost constantly, in a hushed voice. I never had the nerve to ask her if that was what she was doing, but I just assumed, to be on the positive side of things, that was what she was doing. This RCIA program got us reading out of the Bible. And it really taught us alot about the Catholic church now. Any question you had, they found an answer. And at any time, they told you if you were not ready to move forward, that was perfectly fine. The last thing they wanted was someone to convert and regret it. The door was always open to step away if necessary.
I also want to point out, as I have in previous posts, that some people appear to have multiple conversions in their lifetime. I had a big one in 1998 and then a bigger one (Holy Spirit drenched) this past year and a half. Praise you Lord for that big wakeup call! I can say that my conversion in '98 was unfortunately one where I looked outward at others' sins a little too much. I did look inward also, but I think I was being too judgemental overall. I think I was walking the walk as a married woman, a very "busy" religious person, a stay-at-home-mom. I really couldn't screw up much there. I was doing healthy reading, keeping my kids as safe as possible from the outside forces and being there every minute that they were not in school. Our social time did not include bars or alcohol or unhealthy behaviors. We really were living a good clean life. But, I still was worshiping other things more than our God above. You can really easily miss the mark of the personal relationship with Jesus Christ when you think you are living a good life. And you don't go deeper to get that. You think you are all set.
I cannot say that I can call myself a Catholic any longer. I have a girlfriend who put it nicely. She states that she told her daughter, who is trying to find a church, that "If they don't walk in with their Bibles to church, walk right back out and find another church". I can say I truly appreciate that thinking. We are not opening our Bibles in many churches. We are not openly praying and being enthusiastic about it, and only getting enthusiastic about only getting in and out of there in less than 55 minutes. I can say I have attended a couple of churches in Cedar Falls that go well over 55 minutes and no one is hurrying to leave. It's almost like you just got started. Now, that's worship. I hope your church is like that!
I have to share one more story about churches: For over 2 1/2 years I attended a church in Independence. I went maybe once or twice a month. I never had one time in that period of 2 1/2 years have a parishiner come up to me and ask me my name or introduce themself. I told my girlfriend and her boyfriend who belong to this church about this and my disappointment in the church. They defended it nicely and bless them because they only know this type of church. (this is all I ever knew prior to attending Heartland Vineyard for the first time in 1996). Their excuse was acceptable. But, I found a yearning in my heart for a different place to praise God and to let my deep thinking and deep loving be put to good use. I guess I outgrew that type of drive-thru worship. I knew I wasn't fooling God. He was getting a little disappointed in my "putting my time in with him on Sundays".
Thank you for letting me share with you. I hope you find it helpful for someone to be genuine with you. Someone who has decided that maybe the only way for someone else to go deeper in their relationship with the Lord is to be bare bones about it. It sure helps me!
It has been a great way to start a trip, pulling away from McDonald's in Waterloo with our breakfasts, I grab Ross' hands and we pray quick for a safe trip. A direct, sincere prayer to our Lord to look after us. And then we were off. I like my new life in Christ this way! Lots of prayer. And my kids seem to be absorbing all of this. Praise you Lord! Bless my children and grandchildren. I am now determined to be a walking-in-Jesus-skin- person (so they say at church).
Being in Minnesota is interesting when you have lived here before. I moved here in 1998. I lived in a quaint, tourist town called Lanesboro. What a delight. Bicycle trails and small town living. And I mean small town. If you needed a pair of shoes or a birthday gift last minute, forget it. And if it was an icy or snowy winter, you didn't get out of town for days. Rochester was the nearest town of much significance, and that was 55 minutes away. I raised some eyebrows when I would go to Cresco or Decorah (Oh, they just don't like Iowa like they like Minnesota up here) to get my groceries at Fareway or Walmart.
With so many wonderful things about this town of Lanesboro was also the church suppers and community activities. The churches really provide social time, along with worship. I so looked forward to coffee after church (I was a stay at home mom for the time I lived up north). I also had some moms that I met for coffee (with our babies along). I did also participate in a multi-church sponsored Bible study. We studied Ecclesiastes.
One thing I especially loved was our Catholic church. It was on a high hill. It was St. Patricks. And Father Tom was the most awesome priest I had yet met. I had just become Catholic a few months before we moved up north. And this priest was around my age. He stated he was a garbage truck driver prior. He states he was the hyper type (like me). And he never had silence around him to be able to think straight, let alone let the Holy Spirit try to have a conversation with him. But one day his radio broke in his garbage truck. And God gave him a clear message in that truck that day that he needed to join the religious life. Boom. And that is the journey he set out on. Under orders. Loving orders. (Yes, we can always have free choice).
Father Tom had supper at our house a few times. Unfortunately, he had a horrible cat allergy. So, I would clean, clean before he came and he would take a Benadryl. But, he would have to leave after about a good hour, maybe hour and a half. Father Tom also baptized my Ross. I cried, it was such a great time in my life. I had another miracle child to enjoy in my life. Three wonderful gifts of children for me. I am so fortunate to have them in my life.
Along with Father Tom (who related well with my older two children--he was so "cool" with the teens and adolescents), I had a few ladies at church that shared very intimate spiritual things with me. I can't say how lucky I have been in my life to have had people share "religious" things with me. Things that sometimes you know if you share with the wrong person, they will simply assume you are a little crackers.
Rose was one person that shared with me. She was a seasoned lady, very wise. She was in her 70's. She invited me over for coffee. She belonged to our Catholic church. She was a widow. I believe she personally blessed my Ross the day he was baptized. She was extremely spiritual and what a relief to find someone else like me in this way. Maybe that is why she was comfortable sharing. This is her story: One Sunday she took communion. And she took the bread and wine as she did every Sunday. And you can trust this woman was as Godly as they come. She stated that on one instance, the wine truly was consecrated for her. It did not taste of grapes, but of blood. She said it was a beautiful gift to have that happen to her. She felt safe in sharing that with me!
Another lady, (I am embarraced, I don't remember her name off the bat), was such a colorful person. Beautiful 70 year old or so. She wore hats to church. Fancy hats. Now, remember this is a town of 600, and this town of 600 had about 5 churches, so that means only about 50 people went to our church. She told me once that in the altar area of the church, one Sunday it was filled with heavenly angels for her eyes only. She was just in awe of it. She felt safe enough to share that with me as well. And I only lived there for 2 years! What joy for me.
I am aware that my posts may point to opinions about different types of churches. I really want to stay away from that. At the time of a large conversion in my spiritual life, I happened to be going through a 7 month intense Catholic RCIA program. We had one sponsor there that spoke prayers, almost constantly, in a hushed voice. I never had the nerve to ask her if that was what she was doing, but I just assumed, to be on the positive side of things, that was what she was doing. This RCIA program got us reading out of the Bible. And it really taught us alot about the Catholic church now. Any question you had, they found an answer. And at any time, they told you if you were not ready to move forward, that was perfectly fine. The last thing they wanted was someone to convert and regret it. The door was always open to step away if necessary.
I also want to point out, as I have in previous posts, that some people appear to have multiple conversions in their lifetime. I had a big one in 1998 and then a bigger one (Holy Spirit drenched) this past year and a half. Praise you Lord for that big wakeup call! I can say that my conversion in '98 was unfortunately one where I looked outward at others' sins a little too much. I did look inward also, but I think I was being too judgemental overall. I think I was walking the walk as a married woman, a very "busy" religious person, a stay-at-home-mom. I really couldn't screw up much there. I was doing healthy reading, keeping my kids as safe as possible from the outside forces and being there every minute that they were not in school. Our social time did not include bars or alcohol or unhealthy behaviors. We really were living a good clean life. But, I still was worshiping other things more than our God above. You can really easily miss the mark of the personal relationship with Jesus Christ when you think you are living a good life. And you don't go deeper to get that. You think you are all set.
I cannot say that I can call myself a Catholic any longer. I have a girlfriend who put it nicely. She states that she told her daughter, who is trying to find a church, that "If they don't walk in with their Bibles to church, walk right back out and find another church". I can say I truly appreciate that thinking. We are not opening our Bibles in many churches. We are not openly praying and being enthusiastic about it, and only getting enthusiastic about only getting in and out of there in less than 55 minutes. I can say I have attended a couple of churches in Cedar Falls that go well over 55 minutes and no one is hurrying to leave. It's almost like you just got started. Now, that's worship. I hope your church is like that!
I have to share one more story about churches: For over 2 1/2 years I attended a church in Independence. I went maybe once or twice a month. I never had one time in that period of 2 1/2 years have a parishiner come up to me and ask me my name or introduce themself. I told my girlfriend and her boyfriend who belong to this church about this and my disappointment in the church. They defended it nicely and bless them because they only know this type of church. (this is all I ever knew prior to attending Heartland Vineyard for the first time in 1996). Their excuse was acceptable. But, I found a yearning in my heart for a different place to praise God and to let my deep thinking and deep loving be put to good use. I guess I outgrew that type of drive-thru worship. I knew I wasn't fooling God. He was getting a little disappointed in my "putting my time in with him on Sundays".
Thank you for letting me share with you. I hope you find it helpful for someone to be genuine with you. Someone who has decided that maybe the only way for someone else to go deeper in their relationship with the Lord is to be bare bones about it. It sure helps me!
Monday, September 12, 2011
"Hope" On The Restroom Wall
Praise to God for this wonderful September weather. Praise to him for lovely full moons. All feasts for the eyes. I ask Him to bless this entry and guide me as I communicate these things. Like Paul, I have discovered I am a letter writer. Things are clicking into place. It has been a wonderful experience.
Saturday was an interesting day. I was discouraged. I found myself quiet on a lovely Saturday, my mind internally thinking, thinking. Mulling over something. I was out in the sun, catching some rays and vitamin D for the skin to soak in, staining a deck. My friend approached me about this silence. And finally I decided to spill the beans. I am under attack. Obviously, as a new believer, I have some who do not understand. They are concerned about me and my Facebook posts and quotes. They wonder where I am on Friday nights. They want to blame certain people in my life for all of this. They think this is a phase. They know not what they do, as we learn to say under our breath.
Little do they know that about 10 things have collided at different times at me over the course of 18 months, including a Bible Study at lunch hour at work on Wednesdays. "I Am Second" is such a treat for this hungry soul.
I had said a prayer as I was staining the lone railing of the deck, right before my friend approached me about being so quiet. I asked God to please give me a sign that I was on the right track. I asked Him to help me to understand what is happening to me, as others want to question what I am doing with my faith right now. "The Holy Spirit Is A Gentleman" as my Fairy Godmother at work said once when I asked her how you know if you are being appropriate with your Holy Spirit inspired actions. I took comfort in her words (Denise). Now I know if I am worshiping, throwing my net out there for future believers or leading music in a worship team someday, that the Holy Spirit will not allow me to "over do it". As long as you continue to ask the Spirit to guide you, minute by minute.
The day continued and it did improve after I shared my bruised heart to my friend. He supported me. He always does. We had a nice meal with our friend Dean and I went home for the evening.
Little did I know the Lord would again treat me with a dream that he orchestrated. And as I have said in a previous blog, the Holy Spirit conversations are in bits and pieces and puzzles to be solved later.
My dream consisted of the word "Hope". It was planted in my dream about 3-4 times. I was public speaking to a couple of different groups in different settings and my topic was "Hope". Obviously, I was evangelizing and I had an audience and they were listening. It was a great rehearsal for things yet to come for me.
I woke up and wrote down my dream. I headed to church, a little flustered because I need to pack the car for the day and didn't want to forget anything for the busy day. I couldn't get the high chair for Kinnley to fold. Joe came before church and helped with that.
Got to church on time! Got settled in, anxious for great music and discussion. There was a 9-11-01 short program. I was not wanting to deal with that and had avoided all television and newspaper exposure the prior week. But, I got a nice dose of it and needed to in remembrance. It was perfect, with hope and of course, God's promise of being ever faithful to us!
Then, I reminded my friend of the word "Hope" and my dream. And we had one song that mentioned that. I smiled at him. I think I said "Here we go".
Now, it begins..........one of the readings mentioned is Romans 8:24-25. The word "Hope" is mentioned four times.
The service was great. We sang Amazing Grace and some of those lyrics are so close to my heart right now. "Was blind, but now I see"....."How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed". Again, a previous blog I mentioned funeral songs and how painful they were for me until this spring. And we also sang How Great Thou Art. A total new meaning to me now. Now, my tears are not of pain and anguish and guilt and suffering. They are cleansing tears, relief tears. Good tears. Tears of hope. And the Lord has opened my eyes and tuned in my ears. It is simply mystifying that this Lutheran turned Catholic girl is now a born-again. I am one of "those" people that some people run from. And I used to run from them as well.
Again the "Hope Marathon" continues.
We walk out of church and I tell my friend we need to go outside. I tell him about those lyrics and how they speak to me and these lyricists (John Newton for Amazing Grace) can only be born-agains to understand this total conversion that takes you from thinking you "got it" to knowing you "got it" to a point that you appear to be a nut case.
I cry. I cry good tears. I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I have never went to the restroom at Prairie Lakes after one and 3/4 years. Can you believe that for a lady that has three children and drinks too much coffee and is in her 40's?
And there plastered on the wall as I open up the restroom door is the word "HOPE". I just laughed. God has sent His sign to me. It was a positive sign. He is saying to keep going. To keep being obedient and do as told. And He has a sense of humor. He is such a great daddy! I love Him so. And then my mood completely lifted and my spirit began to soar as I knew I had a great day ahead of my granddaughter's first birthday and my son's first football game of the season, on a lovely September day.
And my devotional today has the word "Hope". Lloyd John Ogilive mentions it today. "Our hope is not that we can be adequate enough to deserve His love, but rather that He has chosen to be our God.".
Praise to the Lord for these wonderful coincidences. He has shown me more than enough times that He is here and His Word is alive and active in my life. Amen.
Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?
Genesis 9:16-17 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.
Saturday was an interesting day. I was discouraged. I found myself quiet on a lovely Saturday, my mind internally thinking, thinking. Mulling over something. I was out in the sun, catching some rays and vitamin D for the skin to soak in, staining a deck. My friend approached me about this silence. And finally I decided to spill the beans. I am under attack. Obviously, as a new believer, I have some who do not understand. They are concerned about me and my Facebook posts and quotes. They wonder where I am on Friday nights. They want to blame certain people in my life for all of this. They think this is a phase. They know not what they do, as we learn to say under our breath.
Little do they know that about 10 things have collided at different times at me over the course of 18 months, including a Bible Study at lunch hour at work on Wednesdays. "I Am Second" is such a treat for this hungry soul.
I had said a prayer as I was staining the lone railing of the deck, right before my friend approached me about being so quiet. I asked God to please give me a sign that I was on the right track. I asked Him to help me to understand what is happening to me, as others want to question what I am doing with my faith right now. "The Holy Spirit Is A Gentleman" as my Fairy Godmother at work said once when I asked her how you know if you are being appropriate with your Holy Spirit inspired actions. I took comfort in her words (Denise). Now I know if I am worshiping, throwing my net out there for future believers or leading music in a worship team someday, that the Holy Spirit will not allow me to "over do it". As long as you continue to ask the Spirit to guide you, minute by minute.
The day continued and it did improve after I shared my bruised heart to my friend. He supported me. He always does. We had a nice meal with our friend Dean and I went home for the evening.
Little did I know the Lord would again treat me with a dream that he orchestrated. And as I have said in a previous blog, the Holy Spirit conversations are in bits and pieces and puzzles to be solved later.
My dream consisted of the word "Hope". It was planted in my dream about 3-4 times. I was public speaking to a couple of different groups in different settings and my topic was "Hope". Obviously, I was evangelizing and I had an audience and they were listening. It was a great rehearsal for things yet to come for me.
I woke up and wrote down my dream. I headed to church, a little flustered because I need to pack the car for the day and didn't want to forget anything for the busy day. I couldn't get the high chair for Kinnley to fold. Joe came before church and helped with that.
Got to church on time! Got settled in, anxious for great music and discussion. There was a 9-11-01 short program. I was not wanting to deal with that and had avoided all television and newspaper exposure the prior week. But, I got a nice dose of it and needed to in remembrance. It was perfect, with hope and of course, God's promise of being ever faithful to us!
Then, I reminded my friend of the word "Hope" and my dream. And we had one song that mentioned that. I smiled at him. I think I said "Here we go".
Now, it begins..........one of the readings mentioned is Romans 8:24-25. The word "Hope" is mentioned four times.
The service was great. We sang Amazing Grace and some of those lyrics are so close to my heart right now. "Was blind, but now I see"....."How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed". Again, a previous blog I mentioned funeral songs and how painful they were for me until this spring. And we also sang How Great Thou Art. A total new meaning to me now. Now, my tears are not of pain and anguish and guilt and suffering. They are cleansing tears, relief tears. Good tears. Tears of hope. And the Lord has opened my eyes and tuned in my ears. It is simply mystifying that this Lutheran turned Catholic girl is now a born-again. I am one of "those" people that some people run from. And I used to run from them as well.
Again the "Hope Marathon" continues.
We walk out of church and I tell my friend we need to go outside. I tell him about those lyrics and how they speak to me and these lyricists (John Newton for Amazing Grace) can only be born-agains to understand this total conversion that takes you from thinking you "got it" to knowing you "got it" to a point that you appear to be a nut case.
I cry. I cry good tears. I excuse myself to go to the restroom. I have never went to the restroom at Prairie Lakes after one and 3/4 years. Can you believe that for a lady that has three children and drinks too much coffee and is in her 40's?
And there plastered on the wall as I open up the restroom door is the word "HOPE". I just laughed. God has sent His sign to me. It was a positive sign. He is saying to keep going. To keep being obedient and do as told. And He has a sense of humor. He is such a great daddy! I love Him so. And then my mood completely lifted and my spirit began to soar as I knew I had a great day ahead of my granddaughter's first birthday and my son's first football game of the season, on a lovely September day.
And my devotional today has the word "Hope". Lloyd John Ogilive mentions it today. "Our hope is not that we can be adequate enough to deserve His love, but rather that He has chosen to be our God.".
Praise to the Lord for these wonderful coincidences. He has shown me more than enough times that He is here and His Word is alive and active in my life. Amen.
Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?
Genesis 9:16-17 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.
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